Interviewer: How much milk do these cows give?
Farmer: Which one?
The Black one or the brown one? Interviewer: Brown one.
Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer: And the black one? Farmer: A couple of litres per day. Interviewer(naturally a bit flummoxed): I see. What do you give them to eat?
Farmer: Which one? Black or brown?
Interviewer: Black. Farmer: It eats grass.
Interviewer: And the other one? Farmer: Grass.
Interviewer(now annoyed) : Why do you keep asking which one when the answers are the same?!
Farmer: Because the black one’s mine.
Interviewer: Oh, and the brown one? Farmer: It’s also mine. *Facepalm*
Friday, 23 December 2016
LOL
Thursday, 22 December 2016
STRICTLY FOR THE GUYS
DON'T BE SHY
WHAT DISOBEDIENCE DOES
As a person, you can be displeasing God, doing things that are not approved by the Lord, and yet things will be working for you. You know what? Moses disobeyed God and miracle followed his disobedience, but he was disqualified from entering the Promised Land. Your disobedience may not stop God's blessing in your life, and as a minister of God or church, your disobedience, selfishness, lies, worldliness, indulgences, unfaithfulness to spending offerings and extravagant lifestyle may not necessarily hinder God's flowing of anointing and flourishing of blessings in your lives and church, but they will definitely disqualify you from making heaven if you do not repent now.
Wednesday, 21 December 2016
LOOK IN THE MIRROR
INVEST LITTLE
With just 1k you can begin your journey to earn as you upgrade.
3months.
To upgrade to level 1, you will pay your upline
#1000
After that, share your link to only 4 people to
register under you.
only 4 people. But if you can't get 4 people. You
hv to wait for some days, the system will merge 4
people to you. All you need is initial 4 people. You
don't get any other person, the system will be
generating people for you.
Once the people you invited register, their first
payment goes to you
Then you hv #4000
made, the system merges you to someone you will
pay #2500
After payment call the person you paid to, to
confirm you. you will be upgraded to level 2.
The system will automatically merge 16 people to
pay 2500 in your bank account
Which is #40,000
Then u are in level 2
From that # 40k you will be required to pay your
upline #5000 to move to level 3.
The system merges 64 people who will pay #5000
each to your bank account.
Which gives you 320,000
From that 320,000 you will be required to pay
another person #10,000 to enter level 4. Then
system automatically gives you 256 persons who
will pay #10,000 each to your account.
You make 2.5million at this stage.
Thats how it keeps growing.
payment of initial #1000 to your upline or referral
don't bother registering because the system will
delete your account after 72hours if you don't pay.
When you are on the site and have registered,
the 1st thing to do is to go to your profile where
you will be fixing your bank details.
Now you have to be very careful here. Because the
available spaces are for BITCOINS AND PAYPAL.
But we don’t have paypal here in Nigeria, so in the
paypal section, you input your bank details
in this format
Name, Bank, Account Number (Phone Number) and
then click save.
It is in your bank
account that members will be sending their cash.
So you have to be careful when filling this.
You now go to UPGRADE, and scroll down well,
you will see the Bank details of your upline and
phone number. Call him and make payment. After
payment, come back to UPGRADE and fill your
name in the TRANSACTION ID FORM and submit.
Your upline will then confirm you in his dashboard
and you are upgraded. Please join our WhatsApp group for more questions.
.or call/WhatsApp 07032616044
Monday, 19 December 2016
THE DANGER OF ENVY
Envy can generate hatred for people and make you fight those who are innocent. When you hate people because of their talents, you would not know when you'd begin to use harmful words on them. Envy destroys friendships, shutters family bonds, breaks up business ventures etc. Think of how many music stars, movie stars and other stars suddenly embarked on an open confrontation with one another and sometimes, taking one another to courts. Envy is the reason for that . Envy has resulted in blackmailing and slandering of business pals; fellow staff;bosses etc.
What else could have made Joseph's brothers to out if not envy? (Gen 37:11). Joseph had a dream bigger than theirs, and that triggered hatred and envy in them.
Daniel was envied by elders who knew that prayer was the secret of his success; so they set a trap for him, but he conquered. It was envy that led the Jews to kill Jesus (Mathew 27:18). Are you envious? Envy is not good for you. it will affect your health and even quicken your death. The presence of envy means the absence of Love (1 Cor 13:4). You need to ask God to fill you with Love for everyone. Remember that where there is envy, every other sin exists too.
PRAYER FOR PERSEVERANCE.
Sunday, 18 December 2016
READ THROUGH.
UN-BIBLICAL METHODS OF MAKING AND MAINTAINING CHURCH MEMBERS
(1) Membership Certificate
Most pastors and their churches today are using various strategies to make and maintain members. Some even go to the point of making their church members to have membership certificate. That is funny. They may tell you, “If you don’t go through our membership class and have certificate, you are not a bona fide member of this church” there are different classes in different churches today, to promote holiness and maintain old standards or maintain members? You wonder why you didn’t hear such things among our founding fathers of faith. Well, you can certify somebody as a genuine member of your church, right? You can be certified by your pastor or General/Senior Pastor as a genuine member but you may not be part of the Disciples of Christ. Having your name written in your church’s book does not mean your name is written in the Book of life in heaven.
Paper certificate is useless; membership certificate is immaterial to becoming disciple of Christ. It may be part of the modern system to maintain church membership. If our genuine aim is to help people to be true Disciples of Christ, there is no need making them to be your certified church members as if being recognized as a genuine member of your church has anything to do with being recognized in heaven. Only Jesus knows His own in a church, no pastor can judge by certificate the true and genuine members of Christ’s kingdom. The classes and certificates are not enough evidence to certify people as genuine disciples of God. Only God can determine His own in the public meeting, so such act is usurping God’s territory and very inadequate.
You see, in those days, our founding fathers of faith were not using all these human ideas, they only preached Jesus alone, and it was evidential in their own personal lives and the lives of the members, because the Bible says by their fruits you will know them, not by their church’s certificates or by their commitment to their church classes and activities. Being a devoted church member or minister does not imply you are a true disciple of Christ. Your church can say anything to sooth you, to make you so confident as if you are a candidate of heaven as long you come to their church, if you build your life on that, it will amount to disappointment at the end of your life.
(2) Membership Marriage
Some churches go to the point of telling their church members not to visit any other churches or marry from another church apart from their own. That is nothing but selfish ideology, not Christ’s or biblical ideas. Not all churches are biblical but that does not mean every other church apart from your own is unbiblical. How can we invite other church members to our church and we don’t want our own church members to be invited to other churches? That is not the commandment of Jesus Christ and has nothing to do with the Great Commission. Jesus says, “Do unto others as you want them to do to you” if you don’t want your church members to attend or visit other denominations, then you don’t need to invite people from other denominations too. It’s all about personal and human ambition and wisdom to make and maintain members. Except if such denomination can biblical prove that their own denomination is the only heavenly recognized church on earth and all others are fake and all their members are sinners going to hell.
Some churches don’t allow their single sisters to go and marry in another denominations, maybe they can allow their single brothers to marry from another denominations and bring the women to their church but not that their sisters would go and marry in another church and then join the church. If your ambition is for kingdom of God, not for your own personal denomination, you don’t need such smart not-biblical tactic. The Bible standard for choosing marital partner is simply “only in the Lord” 1 Corinthians 7:39. It doesn’t says, “Only in your denominational church” a selfless pastor will not care if his single members marry from his church or not, he will only care if the person is in the Lord, not necessarily in your denomination.
Teaching or persuading people to marry only in your denomination is an extra-biblical teaching, EXCEPT you are saying only your church members are in the Lord and other children of God from all other denominations are outside the Lord. You don’t justify people by the church they attend, that is an ungodly judgment, heaven doesn’t recognize any denomination and no denomination is registered in heaven, only people who are washed by the Blood of the Lamb and living daily in righteousness, truth and holiness are recognized in heaven, irrespective of your denominations. So why are we fighting, competing and dividing more and more everyday as if becoming a church member is the same with the command of Jesus Christ of becoming His true disciples and making disciples for Him? Why can’t we base on the biblical standard that by their fruits you shall know those who are truly in the Lord and not by their denominations? Why can’t we stop the great competition of making members for our churches and let’s start the Great Commission of making disciples for Christ Jesus of all nations and of all denominations?
(3) Motivational Methods
Some pastors, in the process of making more members, they changed their messages to motivational, miraculous speaking in order to sooth people. Since many people want preachers that will deceive them by telling them what they want to hear not what they need to hear. So to make many members you must make mention what the many people want to hear at many times. People want motivational messages not rebuking messages, people want prosperity messages not message of purity, people want to go to churches where they perform miracles not where they practice holiness. So many preachers have become motivational speakers; others go to the point of getting demonic powers to perform miracles. You preach prosperity, breakthrough, faith for fantastic living and to overcome problems of life, but not the faith for holy life or to overcome temptations. They preach materials blessings and business success with long life. They sweeten their messages to psych your emotion and make you scream, to motivate you in your sins not from your sin. And you feel calmed, cooled and comfortable in your sins but uncomfortable with poverty.
With these, preachers can only make members for their denominations; with these, you can only become a member of a denomination and not disciple of Christ Jesus. You can be busing preaching, praying and sacrificing in the name of serving God, but all for nothing for your eternity. If your preaching, praying and teachings are not turning people to righteousness, all your effort are baseless. The Bible says in the book of Daniel 12:3, “Those who turn many to righteousness shall shine like stars forever and ever.” That is for people who are wise not the foolish ones.
If your purpose for the ministry or God’s work is to turn people to prosperity, to business success, wealthy life, healing and miracles, you are a big looser because no eternal reward for you. Only those who turn people to righteousness are recognized and will be rewarded in heaven. You may be popular here on earth and prospered and rich, but when this world passes away, your gains also pass away. If you are a member or minister of any of church but you are not living a righteous life, you are a great looser. Imagine your offerings, sacrifices and services are waste, your effort and giving are useless. You are just busy for nothing, your pastors and church can be deceiving you to continue like that as if everything is fine with you, they can try to misinterpret the Bible to calm you; Satan can be throwing miracles into your way in the name of testimonies to make you feel as if nothing is wrong or God is okay with you, but you alone has the power to choose not to be deceived by people or satan.
PERSONAL EXAMINATION
You can examine your own life, put aside all the physical and material testimonies, the certificates, the ordained “tittles”, the position you have in and outside the church; are you a true disciple of Jesus Christ or just a church member, minister? It’s not by claiming or ordinary confession, but it’s by your fruit testified to by people. If you are not yet a true disciple of Christ, you can become one NOW. All you need is to be sincere with yourself, realize your situation and repent from all your sins both open and secret ones and ask Jesus to forgive you as you determine to forsake them. Start a simple and sincere new life in Jesus with daily Bible reading and prayer and be zealous for God’s work not a church works.
This message is from Revelation of Truth Evangelical Ministries, RTEM
Saturday, 10 December 2016
THIS IS YOUR CHANCE AT GREAT WEALTH
This is why..
Everybody contributes by making donation and everybody earns from donations from others
Immediately after you started as a Graded member, you already entitled for USD100 (N30000) donation.
To start, you only need to donate USD20 (N6000) to assigned upline.
After your donation approved, you will automatically upgraded to Grade 1.
At Grade 1you will able to receive 5 downlines where each will donate USD20 to you.
So your income total now is USD20x5=USD100 (N6,000x5 = N30,000)
At this point, you should Upgrade to Grade 2 which will able you to receive 25 donations from Level 2 downlines. USD40x5x5=USD1000
N12,000x25=N300,000.
At Grade 2you will able to receive donations from both Level 1 and 2 downlines.
Level 2 Downlines will donate USD40 totalling USD1000.(USD40x25) N12,000x25=N300,000.
Continue upgrade to the next Grade to earn from deeper levels of downline.
You can upgrade up to Grade 10
Remember !
When you at higher grade,
you can continue receiving donations from lower level downlines.
Example: You are at Grade 4,
NOT only from Level 4 downlines, but,
you can continue receiving donations from
Level 1,2,3 and 4 downlines.
Where are the donators coming from?
Spillover from your upline System automatically places extra referrals by your upline under you.
Your own promotion:You will get your own referral URL, you can promote this to friends, families etc. in Facebook, Twitter, Email, YouTube Whatsapp, LINE, Wechat, Telegram and any medium you think suitable.
The more you promote the faster and bigger your earning.
Auto-placement / RandomAuto-placement in the system will place a new member without referral under graded member based on random algorithm and social site promotion.
Do not worry, iCharityClub is only for people that are honest and willing to give first before they can receive.
Free member account will valid for 3 days before expire. This way, the 5 slots always ready for serious member only.
For graded member, Grade 1 to 10, there is no expiry and no subscription fee.
Totally free to use the system.
All donations are direct member to member.
No e-Wallet, Points, Min. withdrawal etc.
You specify your own bank accounts and payment method within your account settings.
You can receive donations via almost every method :
Local bank
PayPal / Credit Card
Skrill
Payza
Neteller
Western Union
BitCoins
and more…
Is this Legal? Is it a Scam?
To answer this, here are some facts about iCharity Club :Help each other. Sincere donation member-to-member.
No compulsion in donating, if not interested your free account will automatically expire in 3 days.
No 3rd party or intermediary managing your money.
Donation directly to your bank account.
No e-Wallet, point system, minimum withdrawal
No fee at all. Absolutely free to use platform.
Not selling any product or service. Pure donations.
So yes, it is Legal. And not a Scam.
please to join Icharity club. follow this link to register
http://icharity.club/member/register/
or call/ whatsapp 07032616044
Thursday, 24 November 2016
PRAYER
Do not withhold your mercy from us , O Lord.
May your love and your truth always protect us.
For troubles without number surround us.
Our sins are more than the hairs of our head.
And our hearts fail within us.
Be pleased to save us O Lord.
O Lord, come quickly to help us.
May those who seek to take our lives be put to shame and confusion.
May those who desire our ruin be turned back in disgrace.
May all those who laugh at us be appalled by their own shame.
Always help us to remember that without You, we are nothing but dust of the earth.
Tuesday, 22 November 2016
FINANCIAL REDEMPTION
This is why..
Everybody contributes by making donation and everybody earns from donations from others
Immediately after you started as a Graded member, you already entitled for USD100 (N30000) donation.
To start, you only need to donate USD20 (N6000) to assigned upline.
After your donation approved, you will automatically upgraded to Grade 1.
At Grade 1you will able to receive 5 downlines where each will donate USD20 to you.
So your income total now is USD20x5=USD100 (N6,000x5 = N30,000)
At this point, you should Upgrade to Grade 2 which will able you to receive 25 donations from Level 2 downlines. USD40x5x5=USD1000
N12,000x25=N300,000.
At Grade 2you will able to receive donations from both Level 1 and 2 downlines.
Level 2 Downlines will donate USD40 totalling USD1000.(USD40x25) N12,000x25=N300,000.
Continue upgrade to the next Grade to earn from deeper levels of downline.
You can upgrade up to Grade 10
Remember !
When you at higher grade,
you can continue receiving donations from lower level downlines.
Example: You are at Grade 4,
NOT only from Level 4 downlines, but,
you can continue receiving donations from
Level 1,2,3 and 4 downlines.
Where are the donators coming from?
Spillover from your upline System automatically places extra referrals by your upline under you.
Your own promotion:You will get your own referral URL, you can promote this to friends, families etc. in Facebook, Twitter, Email, YouTube Whatsapp, LINE, Wechat, Telegram and any medium you think suitable.
The more you promote the faster and bigger your earning.
Auto-placement / RandomAuto-placement in the system will place a new member without referral under graded member based on random algorithm and social site promotion.
Do not worry, iCharityClub is only for people that are honest and willing to give first before they can receive.
Free member account will valid for 3 days before expire. This way, the 5 slots always ready for serious member only.
For graded member, Grade 1 to 10, there is no expiry and no subscription fee.
Totally free to use the system.
All donations are direct member to member.
No e-Wallet, Points, Min. withdrawal etc.
You specify your own bank accounts and payment method within your account settings.
You can receive donations via almost every method :
Local bank
PayPal / Credit Card
Skrill
Payza
Neteller
Western Union
BitCoins
and more…
Is this Legal? Is it a Scam?
To answer this, here are some facts about iCharity Club :Help each other. Sincere donation member-to-member.
No compulsion in donating, if not interested your free account will automatically expire in 3 days.
No 3rd party or intermediary managing your money.
Donation directly to your bank account.
No e-Wallet, point system, minimum withdrawal
No fee at all. Absolutely free to use platform.
Not selling any product or service. Pure donations.
So yes, it is Legal. And not a Scam.
please to join Icharity club. follow this link to register
http://icharity.club/member/register/
or call/ whatsapp 07032616044
Monday, 21 November 2016
SIN
HINDRANCES
GOOD NEWS
Sunday, 20 November 2016
NO REGRETS
I.e..just with your 6k..u can get 30k in grade 1..you remove your start up money WC is 6k ,then you are left with 24k gain in which u will upgrade with 12k and 25 persons will pay u 12k each
U can't lose your money..
Don't let it pass you bye...
BUT ICHARITY IS THE BEST
..This is the real deal (Am a living testimony )...
-UPGRADE
-AND MAKE A DONATION OF 6K.
-AND TO START MAKING MONEY TOO..
Register thru dis link end update ur account..and mk a donation of 6k.soft..and start earning big.
http://icharity.club/member/register/?ref=iykelorda
Thursday, 17 November 2016
LISTEN!
Reach me on whatsApp 07032616044