Monday, 31 October 2016
THE AUTHORITY YOU DON'T KNOW YOU HAVE.
THE LOVE OF MONEY
Friday, 28 October 2016
THE TONGUE
Insensitivity makes a wound that heals slowly. If someone hurts your
feelings intentionally you know how to react. You know the source of the pain. But if someone accidentally bruises your soul, it’s difficult to know how to respond.
Someone at work criticizes the new boss who also happens to be your dear friend. “Oh, I’m sorry—I forgot the two of you were so close.”
A joke is told at a party about overweight people. You’re overweight.You hear the joke. You smile politely while your heart sinks.
What was intended to be a reprimand for a decision or action becomes a
personal attack. “You have a history of poor decisions, John.”
Someone chooses to wash your dirty laundry in public. “Sue, is it true that you and Jim are separated?”
Insensitive comments. Thoughts that should have remained thoughts.
Feelings which had no business being expressed. Opinions carelessly tossed like a grenade into a crowd. And if you were to tell the one who threw these thoughtless darts about the pain they caused, his response would be “Oh, but I had no intention…I didn’t realize you were so sensitive!” or “I forgot you were here.”
Listed under the title of subterfuge is the poison of insensitivity.
It’s called subterfuge because it’s so subtle. Just a slip of the
tongue. Just a blank of memory. No one is at fault. No harm done.
Perhaps. And, perhaps not. For as the innocent attackers go on their
way excusing themselves for things done without hurtful intention, a wounded soul is left in the dust, utterly confused. “If no one intended to hurt me, then why do I hurt so badly?”
God’s Word has strong medicine for those who carelessly wag their
tongues.
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body.
It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on
fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6)
He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.
(Proverbs 21:23)
He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will
come to ruin. (Proverbs 13:3)
When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Proverbs 10:19)
The message is clear: He who dares to call himself God’s ambassador is not afforded the luxury of idle words. Excuses such as “I didn’t know you were here” or “I didn’t realize this was so touchy” are shallow when they come from those who claim to be followers and imitators of the Great Physician. We have an added responsibility to guard our tongues.
These practical steps will purge careless words from your talk.
1. Never tell jokes that slander.
2. Never criticize in public unless you: have already expressed your
disappointment with the other person in private, have already taken
someone with you to discuss the grievance with the person, and are
absolutely convinced that public reprimand is necessary and will be
helpful.
3. Never say anything about anyone in their absence that you wouldn’t
say in their presence. Insensitive slurs may be accidental, but they
are not excusable.
_____________________________
ATTITUDES OF BELIEVERS
THOUGHTS, THOUGHTS AND MORE THOUGHTS
Thursday, 27 October 2016
YOU SHOULD SHOW YOURSELF FRIENDLY
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a
guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator
and helps himself.
A simple friend has never seen you cry. A real
friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents'
first names. A real friend has their phone
numbers in his address book.
A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your
party. A real friend comes early to help you
cook and stays late to help you clean.
A simple friend hates it when you call after he
has gone to bed. A real friend asks you why you
took so long to call.
A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems. A real friend seeks to help you
with your problems.
A simple friend thinks the friendship is over
when you have an argument. A real friend calls
you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects you to always be there
for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you!
A simple friend reads this write - up and ignores
it. A real friend passes it on and passes the message to others!
Regards.
INTERESTING You have to read this --- ALL OF IT, the end is the best part.
IRAQ - VERY INTERESTING - DID YOU KNOW?
1. The Garden of Eden was in Iraq.
2. Mesopotamia, which is now Iraq, was the cradle of civilization!
3. Noah built the ark in Iraq.
4. The Tower of Babel was in Iraq.
5. Abraham was from Ur, which is in Southern Iraq!
6. Isaac's wife Rebekah is from Nahor, which is in Iraq.
7. Jacob met Rachel in Iraq.
8. Jonah preached in Nineveh - which is in Iraq.
9. Assyria, which is in Iraq, conquered the ten tribes of Israel.
10. Amos cried out in Iraq!
11. Babylon, which is in Iraq, destroyed Jerusalem.
12. Daniel was in the lion's den in Iraq!
13. The three Hebrew children were in the fire in Iraq! (Jesus had been in Iraq also as the fourth person in the fiery furnace!)
14. Belshazzar, the King of Babylon saw the "writing on the wall" in Iraq.
15. Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon, carried the Jews captive into Iraq.
16. Ezekiel preached in Iraq.
17. The wise men were from Iraq.
18. Peter preached in Iraq.
19. The "Empire of Man" described in Revelation is called Babylon, which was a city in Iraq!
And you have probably seen this one. Israel is the nation most often mentioned in the Bible. But do you know which nation is second? It is Iraq! However, that is not the name that is used in the Bible. The names used in the Bible are Babylon, Land of Shinar, and Mesopotamia. The word Mesopotamia means
between the two rivers, more exactly between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. The name Iraq means country with deep roots.
Indeed Iraq is a country with deep roots and is a very significant country in the Bible.
No other nation, except Israel, has more history and prophecy associated with it than Iraq.
And also... This is something to think about! Since America is typically represented by an eagle. Saddam should have read up on his Muslim passages...
The following verse is from the Koran, (the Islamic Bible)
Koran (9:11) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.
(Note the verse number!) Hmmmmmmm?! God Bless you all Amen !
THE INTRAVENOUS DRUG USER
GOD'S CASE, NO APPEAL
Wednesday, 26 October 2016
A GOOD WOMAN
A GOOD WOMAN, MAKES A GOOD WIFE AND A GOOD WIFE BECOMES A GOOD MOTHER.
A GOOD MOTHER GIVE BIRTH TO A GOOD CHILD. IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE EMULATE THESE STEPS BELLOW
1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.
2). Don't expose your husband's weaknesses to your family and friends. It will bounce back at you. You are each other's keeper.
3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret
them. Defensive women don't have a happy home.
4). Never compare your husband to other men, you've no idea what their life is all about. If you attack his Ego, his Love for you will diminish.
5). Never ill treat your husband's friends because you don't like them, the person who's supposed to get rid of them is your husband.
6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. Do your duties.
7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.
8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.
9). Never be a wasteful wife, your husband's sweat is too precious to be wasted.
10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband's right. You must give it to him how he wants it. It's very important to Men, if you keep denying him, it is a matter of time before another woman takes over that duty. No man can withstand on starvation for too long (even the anointed
ones)
11). Never compare your husband to your one time Ex-lover. Your home may Never recover from it if you do.
12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.
13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children. Wise Women don't do that.
14). Don't forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.
15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.
16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.
17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don't waste your time looking up to them for a final word. You must Leave if you want to Cleave.
18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?
19). Don't forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. Good communication is the bed rock of every happy home.
20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always team work.
21). Don't be too judgmental to your husband. No man wants a Nagging wife.
22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn't even know that her body needs a bath.
23). Does your husband like a kind of cooked food? Try to change your cooking. No man jokes with food.
24). Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.
25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty.
26). Don't associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.
27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.
28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.
29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason.
30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife,pray always for your husband and family.
MARRIED AND UNMARRIED PEOPLE
*TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE:*
*TO THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED AND/OR ARE PREPARING TO
GET MARRIED SOON*
1. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS*
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own
thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse's weakness, you
can't get the best out of his/her strength.
2. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY*
No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one's past. What
matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are
passed away. try to forgive and forget. The past can't be
change. So Focus on the present and the future!
3. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT'S OWN CHALLENGES*
Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shinning marriage has
gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True
love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage!
Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs.
Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS*
Don't compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be
equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid
marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your
marriage dreams shall come true.
5. *TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR*
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of
marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance,
Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence,
Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, betrayal,
Laziness, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your
marriage zone.
6. *THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE*
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard
work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a
CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back hassles and If this parts are
not properly maintained, the car will brake down somewhere
along the road and exposing the occupant to unhealthy
circumstances. - Many of us are careless about our marriage...
Are you? If you are, pls pay attention to your marriage.
7. *GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU
DESIRE*
He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in
order for you to mould what you desire. You may desire a
woman who can pray for 1 hours but your wife can only pray
for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she
can improve and vice versa.
8. *TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK*
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as
situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment.
Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get
marry to her because she's slim but she becomes 100% fatter
after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you
have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he
gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at
last.
9. *MARRIAGE IS PERMANENT CONTRACT*
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes
a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think
of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose
to remain married! God hates divorce
10. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY*
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit
into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don't
deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a
candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage,
You cannot love without giving and sacrificing. if you can keep all these it will help you.
LOOK AT THIS
This is an eye opener; some probably never thought nor
Looked at this Psalm in this way, even though they say it over
and over again. Psalm 23
The Lord is my Shepherd That's Relationship! I shall not
Want That's Supply!
He makes me to lie down in green pastures That’s Rest!
He leadeth me beside the still waters That’s
Refreshment! He restores my soul
That's Healing! He leadeth me in the paths of Righteousness That’s Guidance!
For His name sake that’s Purpose!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death That’s Testing!
I will fear no evil that’s Protection! For Thou art with
me That’s Faithfulness!
Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me That’s
Discipline!
Thou prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies That’s Hope!
Thou anoint my head with oil That's Consecration! My
cup runneth over
That's Abundance!
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days
of my life
That's Blessing! And I will dwell in the house of the
Lord That's Security! Forever
FOLLOW THE NARROW WAY PEOPLE
AND THE DOOR WAS SHUT
Tuesday, 25 October 2016
LAUGH IT OFF
An illiterate woman boarded a plane from Enugu to Abuja. She was booked for an economy class seat...
Just after the plane took-off, the woman stood up and went to sit in the first class cabin. The flight attendant went to ask her to go back and sit in economy class because that's where the ticket allowed her to sit but she refused. She had paid and wanted the best seat.
Then the attendant informed the Jnr. pilot. The Jnr.pilot went and spoke with the lady and she still refused.
Then the Jnr. pilot went to inform the chief pilot. The chief pilot said, I am married to an illiterate, I'll go and talk to her. The chief went and whispered some words to the woman and she peacefully stood-up and went to her economy class seat.
The attendant and Jnr. pilot surprisingly asked, sir what did you tell her?
The chief pilot said: Easy guys, I just told her that first class is not going to Abuja, only economy class is!!! Abi?
HUSBAND AND WIFE
To My Dearest Wife,
During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:
We will wake the kids - 54 times
It's too late - 15 times
I'm too tired - 42 times
It's too early - 12 times
It's too hot - 18 times
Pretending to be asleep - 31 times
The neighbors will hear - 9 times
Headache or backache - 26 times
Sunburn - 10 times
Your mother will hear us - 9 times
Not in the mood - 21 times
Watching the late show - 17 times
Too sore - 26 times
New hairdo - 6 times
Wrong time of the month - 14 times
You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times
Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??
Love, Your Hubby
**********************
I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:
Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times
Did not come home at all - 36 times
Did not come - 21 times
Came too soon - 38 times
Went soft before you got it in - 19 times
Cramps in your leg - 16 times
Working too late - 33 times
You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times
Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times
You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times
You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times
You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times
You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times
Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times
The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"
Love, Your Wife
NIGERIAN IN HOLLAND
A very successful Nigerian Man in Holland parked his brand-new Lexus in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck passed too close and completely tore off the door on the driver's side.
The man immediately grabbed his cell phone, called the cops, and within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before the officer had a chance to ask any questions, the Nigerian man started screaming hysterically. His Lexus, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the man finally wound down from his ranting and raving, the officer shook his head in disgust and disbelief. "I can't believe how materialistic you Nigerians are", he said. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?" asked the Nigerian man. The cop replied, "Don't you know that your left arm is missing from the elbow down? It must have been torn off when the truck hit you."
"My God!" screamed the man. "Where's my Rolex?
UMU MAZI, SPEAK UP
IT ALL MAKES SENSE
Friday, 21 October 2016
FOR THE GUYS...
The period when you are stuck in a limbo, trying to figure out yourself and who you want to be.
At this age, you find it a herculean task asking money from your parents, considering your dad will always remind you of how he was self sufficient at your age.
So you are always left with "Nkechiyere" anyone that comes from them willingly.
To compound your "woes". You have a girlfriend whom you love so muchh, you are 24 and she is 23.
And guys being wired to want to take control, you are frustrated at your inability to take care of her like you want to.
I mean where is the money??
You are still jobless, still hustling, still finding your feet.
Still putting hands into many things hoping to put smiles on you.
All of a sudden, she starts acting out and showing attitude.
You call, and she takes forever to pick or return your calls.
When she finally does pick, the call is like an interview session with those annoying and frustrating one word replies.
Yes, no, fine, okay, nothing.
Then finally she ends the call with a flimsy excuse like " wait let me close the fridge", i will call you back. And the call never comes back.
Then one day she calls you and asks you "where is this relationship heading to?.
You don't even know where your own life is heading to, not to talk of a relationship.
Then she drops the bombshell. Tells you that she met a guy who wants to marry her.
And how age isn't on her side, and you are almost compelled to scream "But you are just 23". Can't you wait 3 more years let me make it.
You just hold yourself and play the good guy
You ask her if she loves him, she dodges the question and replies you with " He treats me well".
Well since she wasn't informing you to take permission, she was simply telling you.
You have to be the cool guy and wish her well.
One week later, she gives you the traditional wedding card. And then you do the math yourself.
She was talking to the guy a long time before now.
Then you realise that for every "K" you got on WhatsApp, the guy was getting a long epistle.
You have been played.
Worse is you cant even blame her, you are just a prospect who no one knows what will become of your life in 4years time.
Would you have made it or not?
She has gone for the real deal, someone who has already made it.
In footballing terms, you are a "Anthony Martial" ( prospect) while the guy is a Messi ( has made it already).
I mean you were sending her cards of N200, and the guy was telling her to manage 10k for the weekend.
No comparison there.
And then you go through that silent heartbreak guys go through, the ones they don't talk about.
And unceremoniously you get inducted into the special hall of fame where members are young guys whose childhood loves and friends or girlfriends they thought they would end up with left them to marry someone else.
Your heart is broken into smithereens.
In this hall of fame, you are all victims. Victims of not having found your path in your early twenties. A heartbreak will that shape ur life and change the way u see and treat women forever.
At the wedding, no sight is more heartbreaking than seeing "the love of your life" say "I do" to this guy she just met 6 months ago.
To make matters worse, you get an alert from Diamond bank telling you how N13 have been deducted for bank charges. You are mad.
Your N4000, is down to N3987 rendering that N1k useless, you can only withdraw N3k now.
And that's your home and abroad.
Can life be more unfair at this moment?
6 years later. You are 30 now. Congratulations, you finally made it. You are as rich as you hoped you will become.
You are one of the happening guys in town.
You go to a wedding. With your friends, the men on suit. Those guys that just intimidate everyone in the hall.
You are seated scouting the hall, and the bridal train passes by.
Ofcourse, bridal train and ashoebi ladies always show themselves. That's part of the job description. Sampling.
And you spot one, she is beautiful, elegant and tall.
You walk up to her, chat her up. Exchange numbers and you leave.
She is 24, ripe for marriage.
Three months later, you are sounding marriage to her ears. She loves how it sounds.
You are on chat with her always.
And somewhere else, a 25year old boy still finding his way is wondering why the girlfriend is becoming distant these days.
Why is he getting those one worded replies which is unlike her.
Why do there chats seem more like interview.
And fast fast, you have proposed and simultaneously she is asking the 25year old boy that question of
"Where is this relationship going to".
And then you marry her, and somewhere a boy gets heart broken.
You see we are always going to do this to ourselves.
There's a time for everything.
PEOPLE HATE THE TRUTH
HUMAN BEINGS ARE SO FICKLE
Thursday, 20 October 2016
BE FILLED WITH ALL GOD'S FULLNESS
GOD DOESN'T CONDEMN YOU
Wednesday, 19 October 2016
LADIES,IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR HAIR AND WIGS
LADIES,IT'S ALL ABOUT YOUR HAIR AND WIGS
Monday, 17 October 2016
HOW TO STOP WORRYING.
A MEANINGFUL AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE
Do you want to lead a meaningful and productive life? This is a MUST READ for self development!
1. Make friends with successful people and occasionally buy them gift and surprise them with lunch because successful people always give and hardly get, so when you give them, they value the gift a lot.
2. Get a mentor and follow his instructions and respect the relationship. Never beg your mentor for money or disrespect his or her privacy.
3. Make new positive friends as often as possible and ensure you keep the communication line open. Create a network of friends and not just connections.
5. Show kindness to everyone. Some small boys today will be big boys tomorrow. The biggest dog in the neighborhood was once a puppy. And keep the information/secret to yourself.
6. Always plan ahead and be proactive. He that plans the future work less in the future.
7. Listen to speeches and messages from great teachers. Both religious and educational.
8. Attend seminars and training on any area you need to improve yourself. Train the trainer, personal development, public speaking, sales etc.
9. Have the habit of keeping a pen and a writing pad handy because ideas come in the form of flashes. The smallest pen is bigger and better than the biggest brain.
10. Make sure at every point in time you are reading a book. If you spend 20 minutes reading daily, for 52 weeks you would have consumed 1,000,000 words.
11.Stay away from television as much as possible. You can watch educational channels. Men with big TV sits in front of them to watch men with big library.
12 Put control over your mouth, never say evil of any man, what you are not certain of should not be said. Say good of all men.
13. Always show appreciation for any good deed you received.
14. Always help someone in need.
15. Live a debt free life. What you can’t pay cash for is not your size.
16. Give out loans that you can part with as gift, so that you don’t destroy your business and relationship.
17.Create multiple source of income.
18. Save at least 10 percent of your income.
19. Invest a portion of your income. And be patient to see it grow. If what you have in your hands is not good to be called a harvest then it’s a seed, sow it.
20. Keep a good financial record of all income and expenses, so you won’t ask later “where did my money go”
21. Be in involve in community service. Control traffic, free lesson class for students etc.
22. Keep getting better on your daily goals and dream, develop yourself on them and make sure you get to the top 10 % of your industry.
23. Make sure you engage in exercise. It keeps your brain alert and your body fit to enjoy your success.
24. Pray often, and know that for every success, there is a stronger being that made it possible . Have a nice week ahead.
25. Increase your value by sharing good things with other people. Start by sharing this.
YOU HAVE BEEN OFFERED FINANCIAL FREEDOM.
Reach me on whatsApp 07032616044
SOME MARRIAGES ARE CRISIS ORIENTED
Sunday, 16 October 2016
HALL OF FAME (HOF)
If you want to host a contest which you may want to end and celebrate with during Xmas, or contest for ur group,community,state,school etc.do it in Hall Of Fame. Link: Http://halloffame.com.ng/start.php See what people are saying about hall of fame on Facebook.link: www.facebook.com/halloffamehost
YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN
ALL HUSBANDS CAN ENJOY
All husbands can enjoy
Wife : Shall I prepare rice or stew today .
Husband : First make it, we will name it later
A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting
A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u......
Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !
A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal :)
A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: honey.....you say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home sweetheart......here the chef knows how to cook.
LAST BUT THE BEST
Best Slogan on a
MAN's T-Shirt :
"Please Do Not Disturb me,
I am Married and already very Disturbed"