HOW I SNATCHED YOUR BOYFRIEND.

How I Snatched Your Boyfriend

You call me a boyfriend snatcher. Well, let me tell you how I snatched your boyfriend. Maybe you might learn a thing or two. Truth is, I never really set out to snatch him. You led him to me. I know you are wondering what I mean, so I will explain.

It started out as a casual friendship. But I observed that he was different. The kind of ‘different’ that makes you get interested in a person. Not because of how he dressed, no, he was just a regular guy, physically. But from the way he thought and talked about things and how he carried himself, I just knew this man was different. He had depth.

You, I guess, did not know that. Or if you did, you disregarded it. You probably just saw him as ordinary because he was your boyfriend and he had no halo on his head. I saw him as special and he was not my boyfriend.

Whenever we met I would engage him in a casual conversation and we began to know each other more. I discovered that he was simple. Where were you all those times? He would later tell me that you were actually in some of these meetings but you said you did not want to be seen with him in public. That it was not yet time for that.

To be candid, I was surprised because that is what guys tell ladies. I have never heard of a lady telling a guy who she knows is really in love with her that she does not want to be seen with him when she does not have another boyfriend.

Even when a guy is still ‘toasting’ a lady and he is all over her, she does not shove him away. She will be the one letting her friends know that he is a ‘toaster.’ However, you probably had your reasons but as you can see, it obviously did not turn out well for you because, today, I have him and you call me the boyfriend snatcher.

His simplicity drew me closer to him. He was sound, knowledgeable and purpose driven. He knew what he wanted in life and that guided every decision he made. He cared about little things - those things that most folks would forget. He focused more on such things. He made me realize that when you take care of the little things the big things will take care of themselves.

When he was angry over something, he spoke calmly. He hardly raised his voice. He said there were other ways to express one’s anger besides shouting at the other party and not once has he shouted at me. Not even when he was very angry over something I did wrong. Who wouldn’t want a man like that?

I did not know you, at least not at the time when I was getting to know him. I really did not prod further after he told me that you were not comfortable with being seen with him in public. When I finally got to know you were the one I recalled I had seen you a few times in those meetings.

Well, the more we talked, the closer we became. Like they say, communication is the life blood of a relationship. We were becoming friends. As our friendship deepened, we started calling each other. They were just casual calls at the beginning.

Will you be at the meeting today?
Have you gotten home?
How was work today?
I hope the traffic was not much?

Then we started visiting. The first time I went to his place was when he offered to drop me off after one of our meetings but he was going to stop by at his place for a change of clothing since he had another appointment to keep. I wasn’t having any other plans for the day, so I obliged him.

I know you want to know if anything happened while at his place. Sorry to disappoint you, he is a gentleman. Nothing happened.

Then we left his place and he went to drop me off at my place. When we got to there, I invited him in but he asked for a rain cheque since he had an appointment to keep.

Yes, I know he is not an angel. He is a man. He has his shortcomings. But he is up there among the best. Not in terms of money, but in terms of character. He makes a decent income like anyone else.

With time, we became closer than casual. We would watch movies together. Not just at the cinemas but also in his place. We laughed and played together. I became comfortable with his arms around me even when alone and sometimes while watching a movie, I would lie in his arms as we both lay on the couch in his sitting room.

He has blood flowing in him. I did not need a prophet to tell me that. I knew from the way his breathing increased when we lay together on his couch and how he would wrap his arm around me and hold me a little tighter than normal. But he never went beyond bounds. And the moment I told him I was not comfortable, he would relax his hold.

Was I ever angry with him? You bet I was, several times. There were times when he failed on something we had agreed on. Times when he would have said he would come pick me up at a particular time and he would be very late. I would be mad.

But I never took it out on him for long. I just couldn’t do that. His good sides over-compensated for his mistakes. I would be angry for about 5 minutes then I would get over it and we would be best of friends again. He was always quick to apologise, by the way.

He had taught me to work contrary to my emotions when I got angry. He termed it counter-emotion - doing the right thing even when you don’t feel like it. During such times when he knew I was angry he would open his arms for a hug. Even though that was the last thing on my mind, I would reluctantly put my arms around him still sulking.

He would place his arms around my waist and pull me in till I was fully pressed against his chest. He would give me that tight embrace and keep me pressed against his chest for another minute or two while telling me how sorry he is for doing whatever he did wrong. In a strange way the anger will just melt away.

He told me how you, on the other hand, will never let him hug you even when things were good between you. And when he did something that annoyed you, you made him feel sorry for himself. He dared not even ask for a hug at such times.

He told me how you walked out on him a few times because you were angry over something he had said. Girl, that is harsh! How can you walk out on a man? Any man. Don’t you know how men are wired? Their ego is high up there and when you walk out on them, you kill them.

No. You sit down and talk it out. That is the right thing to do. Worst case, you go silent and just let him do the talking if you are that angry. But never ever walk out on a man, let alone one who you mean so much to, one who loves you. It only makes it hurt the more.

He loved you. He told me so himself. But you pushed him away with your attitude. You pushed him away with your “smart and intelligent” attitude. Now, you call me a boyfriend snatcher.

Sweetheart, I did not snatch him. You threw him into my arms. You made him open to other ladies and I just happened to be walking past when you did.

I know you may think I am sounding desperate but I am not. I have been in several relationships before and I was the one who ended most of them. Only a few was ended by the guys I was dating.

I am not desperate but that does not mean that I will lie to myself that I don’t need a man like some ladies say these days. I need a man and I know it. I need a man who complements me. Yes, I need a man.

I need a man to share my dreams and visions with and also help me in accomplishing them while I do the same for him. I need a man with whom I will be greater than when I am alone. I need a man with whom I will raise godly children that will fear God and serve humanity.

Then I think of the fringe benefits; a man who will place his arms around me and hold me for the next twenty minutes; someone who will whisper sweet loving words to me; someone whom I can have great sex with and not feel guilty afterwards; someone who will tell me how beautiful I am even when I am 9 months pregnant and ready to drop; someone whom I can fight with and reconcile with a hug (yes, that is also a fringe benefit). Yes, darling, I may not be desperate but I need a man and I know it.

So when, that evening, he called and told me he had something to tell me and that he would like for us to meet at a certain restaurant, my heart paced a little faster. I could tell what was coming. He was already in love with me and I knew it. But I was going to hear him out.

The following day we met at the restaurant and he told me how in the past few weeks he could not take his mind off of me and how I filled every part of him. I was excited within me. I loved this man. Loving him was easy. And hearing him say these words took me to the clouds.

He said he would like to commit into a formal relationship with me. He wanted to be the special man in my life and that I was already the special person in his life, anyway. He said he had already seen what he wanted in me and it would be a great honour for him to be my man. That he was ready to meet anybody I wanted for him to formally introduce himself to them if it was necessary. Just so I could know he was serious.

Deep within, I could not contain myself; but as a lady, I just did not show it. I feigned surprise and asked him to give me some time to think about it. Think about what? That was me just being a lady.

Every two or three days he would call to ask me if I had considered his request. Two weeks after that meeting I told him I was ready to commit into a relationship with him.

That, my dear, was how I snatched your boyfriend.

The End

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Mute Efe
Author. Speaker. Trainer.

PASSING THROUGH PROBLEM? CALM DOWN

Matthew 26:53, “Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels?”

You are passing through problems and difficulties; you have been praying that God should solve or remove the problem, but things have not changed. Then you are perplexed because God doesn't answer your prayer as you desire. You are so disturbed, thinking God does not love you? Thinking Jesus Christ is ignoring you? Do you think Jesus cannot talk to His Father and provide immediate solution? But how then will the scripture be fulfilled in your life for good?

In your present difficulties, do you think Jesus does not care for you so much? Do you think He does not has the power to send millions of angels to attend to you? But how will God’s special purpose be fulfilled in your life? What really matters to Jesus in your life is not the present problem you are passing through but for God’s peculiar purpose to come to pass in your life.

God planned the salvation of the world through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, no other way. If Jesus did not pass through Calvary to the cross, then there wouldn’t have been salvation for the world. In like manner God planned the promotion and greatness of Joseph by passing through problems and prison, if he didn’t pass through prison, he would not have come to palace; if he had compromised in sin at the Potiphar’s house, if he had been discouraged and gave up along the way, that would have brought God’s purpose for his life to an end.

And now is your turn. You are passing through several problems in your personal life, marriage, ministry, business, academy, finance; those problems are not God’s purpose for your life, they are just a passage by which you pass into God’s purpose in your life. God’s part is to be faithful to His promise, He did not need to show you the problem from the beginning, He didn’t show Joseph either, because He is not concern about the temporal problem, His concern is to fulfill His purpose which He has promised you. Your own part is to patiently wait and stay faithful to Him. Now, the question is, will you complain and compromise into sin for quick relief? Or will you continue and let God’s purpose come to pass in your life?

Why do you complain as if Jesus is not able to ask His Father for immediate provision for you? But how will the purpose of God come to pass in your life? You must care for God’s purpose coming to pass in your life, not complaining about the present condition which will soon pass away. Sometimes, I felt like, “God, why will you allow me passing through this tough time, it is getting too much for me.” But then God gave me this message, I have to encourage myself in the Lord and hold on. It is not easy to hold on in this present life when everything is moving fast, but since God controls time and season, our waiting on Him will not make our season to expire until His special promises comes to pass. He is never too late. You may say, “But it is late already, time has really gone on me.” The truth is that, when we wait on God, He turns the “late” to “latest” since He is in charge of the universe.

Do not compromise God’s scripture, do not compromise God’s standard; persevere in prayer and persist in purity. As God is working great things for you which eyes have not seen, He is only making you to pass through situation to make you strong, He is only making you to experience difficulties to do you good at the end. If you wait faithfully on God and serve Him, the fire you pass through will not burn you but refine you. The end result is what really matter, and God is the Beginning and the End. So wait on Him, watch in prayer, Bible reading and godliness, and working for Him; no complaining and no compromising into sin.

Psalm 66:10-12
For You, O God, have tested us;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
11 You brought us into the net;
You laid affliction on our backs.
12 You have caused men to ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water;
But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

Rules of Friendship

1.Friendship is the expression of love and commitment to another person. it is an agreement to ensure the progress of another.
2. The easiest way to become selfish is to loathe friendship.
3. You must be committed to the success of that person you call your friend.
4. You owe your friend kindness. (Job 6:14)
5. Most times, friends become the brother or the sister we do not have. There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. (prov 18:24, NLT)
6. Don't be a friend who is as unreliable as a seasonal brook (Job 6:15-23). Be consistent and stable even in times of difficulty.
7. "What two or three shall agree" God's plan was never for us to walk through life alone, even God does not walk alone. He said it is not good that man should be alone-- this does not apply to marriage only.
8. Man is not created to thrive alone. Destiny helpers come disguised as friends. Ask King David about Jonathan. Ask Ruth about Naomi.
9. Let your success rob off on your friend. Don't be on top alone, carry your friend along with you.
10. Friendship is a treasure. Be careful of your association. The right  association can build you and the wrong association can destroy you.

TWO-FACED LONELINESS MONSTER

This post is not for those who say, "I'm alone, not lonely" or "You should draw closer to God to banish loneliness." It is not for the strong ones; the pretentious and hypocritical ones. It's for people like me who are lonely.

I've figured out what I particularly hate about loneliness. There are two sides to it. First, it saps energy. There's this weight that accompanies it. You can't seem to find the vigour to jump out of bed in the morning. So you wake up in stages. You negotiate with yourself to get up.

It's difficult to refuel emotionally if you're constantly creating things. Those life giving hugs and pats on the back which say, "Well done" are few and far between. You become your sole cheerleader and validator. And then you encourage yourself in the Lord. You have these internal conversations with yourself where you say, "That was good work." Since nobody tells you, you might as well tell yourself. Everyone assumes you're strong and have your ish together so no one remembers to encourage you.

Loneliness even makes you lonelier. You say no to certain dates so you won't do what you don't want to do. I remember a friend kept trying to get me to party with her. Mind you, we had mutually friend zoned each other as we acknowledged we would make terrible partners. I eventually blurted out that if I hung out with her, I would jump her. Suffice to say, she wasn't prepared for that level of honesty. I read something on Instagram a few days ago - "I don't need attention, I need connection." My mind craves a certain kind of connection.

The second side to loneliness is the sameness of each day. You go about your routine and nothing seems to change. It's then you realise just how much of the colour in life is generated by the presence of others.

A few people will understand this post. They will know how it is possible to be surrounded by so many and still be alone; how it is possible to be so blessed and still lack.

ADMIT YOUR UNHAPPINESS

I used to live on the Lagos Mainland while working on the Island. I left for work at 7am then 6am and finally 5am as the traffic situation got worse each year.

A friend reminded me that I was addicted to Red Bull and coffee in those days. I rarely saw daylight. I would leave home before daybreak and return after sunset. I needed something to keep me awake during the day.

At 27 years old, I had a character meltdown. I'm not sure if I was exposed to power too early (I was already an Executive Director) or if I was surrounded by the wrong people. I made some terrible decisions. The main reason was loneliness. My mentor at the time, was going through some terrible things and I felt I couldn't burden him with my own ish. I didn't really have anyone else to call me to order. So I did what I liked.

People respond to loneliness in different ways. Some turn to alcohol, food, sex or drugs to fill the empty spaces. Some become more spiritual. Some like me, malfunction. Some get busier - they're constantly on the move as they seek to distract themselves from themselves.

I think the turning point came when I admitted my loneliness and unhappiness. I told myself I was unhappy. It didn't matter what anyone thought - that I was lucky to be who I was; that I had a great job and good health. People don't know your life story and it's presumptuous of them to do a comparative analysis of their pain and yours.

I was unhappy and that was that.

Once I admitted it, I began to carefully think about what made me happy and what was taking away from it. I discovered the things I was doing were not making me happy contrary to the world's promise.

I realised I wasn't a corporate person. I hated meetings and corporate culture and had been killing myself at my job in consulting. So I pivoted to focus on and develop a new social media practice.

I was no longer understanding church and all its activity, so I just stopped. I resigned from working in church and began attending as a regular member. It was so restful. Following my furlough, I now serve in the social media unit where there are no meetings and no politics.

I began to repair my personal relationship with God. I was taking him for granted. Now I'm trying to make him front and centre. It's hard but I will stick to it. I really like him.

I craved deep free flowing conversation. A relationship would have helped but as one cannot buy boyfriends in the market, I did the next best thing. I started writing more on social media and enjoying the banter on my timeline. Thank you for all your engagement and comments. I really want people to be free to express themselves on my timeline. I won't be shutting anyone down this year, even people who insult me. I figure the people on my timeline will defend me so I don't need to defend myself. You guys have my back right 😀?

Music makes me happy so I subscribed to Deezer so I could continually discover new music. I'll be spending more time listening to music. I remember years ago, I would lie on my bed with my headphones and do nothing else but listen for hours. I'm going to bring back those days. I'll also attend more live concerts.

Travelling will continue to make me happy, although, I think I'll be doing less adventurous things and more restful things on my trips. Okay, maybe one more - jumping out of a plane. But after that, that's it 😀😀😀. I'm planning an American Road Trip this year in case anyone's feeling like enjoying wide open spaces with me. I already have 2 people signed up.

I'm reading more. I bought 4 new books in the first week of the year and plan to buy more. I've also received one. Let's see, I've got a book on philosophy, one on science, one on politics and two romance novels. That's a good start.

I've taken up social drinking. I have one rule - if I'm with someone who doesn't drink, neither will I out of respect for you. I no longer worry about eating the same thing every day. It gives me one less thing to plan. I've accepted that I don't have an aptitude for fashion. I love flats not heels and gladly allow my sisters to plan my wardrobe for me. They're good at what they do.

I explained in a previous post that fulfilling purpose and happiness are mutually exclusive for me. Yes, I'm weird that way. The things that make me happy are completely different from the things that define my purpose, except giving. Giving bestrides both.

I have accepted myself and it's such a wonderful feeling. Vulnerability and frailty are beautiful. They keep me humble. I have no pedestal from which anyone can knock me off. I warn those who look up to me that they are on their own. I don't live with them in mind. I'm most comfortable being called by my first name or nickname, Sho. (Note to all those people calling me ma or sister. Don't let me block you 😀.)

I'm an introvert who no longer feels the need to manufacture energy to please people. The best way to keep me talking in person is to ply me with caffeine. I don't follow the news. I rarely watch TV and don't collect things. Sometimes I do nothing for hours but read and write. When I grow up, I'm going to have a retinue of staff who allow me to be the lazy person I know I really am. The only thing I'll cook is my peppery stew that no one else seems to cook well, and the only thing I'll clean is my glasses. One day, I'm going to buy a private island or farm in a country that works and only allow people I like on it. For me, these things are happiness.

I admitted my unhappiness and am now taking steps to change it. What about you? Find your own happiness before it's too late.

subomi plumptre

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 8

I sat at that spot for what seemed like an eternity. I knew my marriage was over. I just did not feel it was worth fighting for. 
I could never forgive Ifemi for impregnating another woman no matter what I must have done to him. 
He promised me for better or worse. I stood up eventually with the tears still streaming uncontrollably down my face, walked to the wardrobe and started packing my things. 
My mother in law came to stand by me and advised me not to go. She kept saying I should not make this mistake. I should not give up on my marriage but to fight for it. She kept going on and on but I totally ignored her. When I was done packing about two boxes, I turned to her and said thank you. I picked my boxes and dragged them to the sitting room. Ifemi was still sitting there, I saw a momentary surprise on his face at the packed boxes but otherwise, he just looked at me and shook his head. That took my anger to another level, I had planned to just walk by but I turned to him and said, “you are such a wicked hypocrite. This marriage was all about children to you right? You jumped at the first pair of skirts to offer them to you. Go to hell Ifemi and stay there. Woe betides me if I ever think of accepting an unfaithful dog like you”. He did not utter a word of reply.
The rest of that day was in a haze. I drove my car, parked it in my office compound and took a cab to the airport. I took the next available flight to Lagos and went home. My mum did not seem surprised to see me and was not accepting at all. I was put under the fire immediately I entered the house even though it was almost midnight. My mother in law and my husband had both called her and told her the whole story. My mum did not even want to listen to me. I begged her to understand but she said I should have called her before messing my whole marriage up and I should get back to my husband immediately. She said I could not stay in the house and she would never condone such but I told her point blank I was not going back there. I could not sleep that night as I was desperately trying to piece it all together. The next morning, I took my bag and headed to a hotel. I texted my mum, telling her where I was in the hope that she will ask me to come back home but she did not reply. By Sunday morning, I had not eaten for 2 days and I was so weak. I had to order room service and I stayed in all day.
On Monday, I started to think deeply on what to do next. I could not stay in a hotel indefinitely and I needed to get back to the office. Would I now get a separate apartment in Abuja or what do I do? If I go back to Abuja now, where do I live? Another hotel? I did not even have friends I could live with. Just as I was thinking of that, my phone beeped, I got an email. I had to read the mail about 4 times to understand that I had just been sacked due to downsizing blah blah blah. Another round of tears started. This could not have happened at a worse time. After all I had given to that company, now they know they are downsizing? I had heard rumours of it but I never thought in a million years it could affect me. I was not even in Abuja to go fight and raise hell about it. It was really beginning to feel like my whole world had come crushing down. Maybe it was a bad idea to pack out of the house after all. We could take the baby and settle the mother far away from us. That looked like a possible option. I decided to chill an stew in Lagos for one more week before going back home to Abuja.
Immediately I made that decision, I started to feel better. I would definitely get another job but another husband? That is a big NO. I started calling up old friends in Lagos and spent the whole week visiting and hanging out.
By Thursday, Ifemi started calling me. I refused to pick his call but I was smiling in my mind. Now he has come to his senses. I’ll leave him to be sad till Sunday and I’ll take the morning flight home. I booked my ticket immediately, I really was starting to accept the idea of the child. On Friday morning, there was a knock on my hotel room door. I was surprised to see my mum but her face was scary. I have never seen my mum so sad before. I kept asking her what was wrong but she asked me to sit down. Immediately I did, I knew my life was over. She said Ifemi had decided to come meet me in Lagos yesterday evening and he had a car accident on his way to the airport in Abuja. I said, so how is he? Is he okay? I need to get to the hospital immediately. My mum pulled me and said, they tried very hard in the hospital but Ifemi died at about 2am this morning. I could hear screams but I did not even know they were coming from me. I felt myself landing on the bed, I knew I kept shouting but I know nothing else that happened there after. How could I have killed the person I love most in this world?
(THE END)

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 6&7

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 6
Over the next few weeks, Ifemi and I made efforts to get our marriage on track. It seemed like we had drifted apart for too long and we had gotten used to doing things separately. I tried to put things to bed with Wale by discussing the hug and kiss with him but immediately I raised the issue, he just brushed it aside. I just concluded he probably just got carried away or maybe he did not even plan to kiss me anyway. Why make it such a big deal? I began to reduce our lunch dates though and hubby started coming to take me to lunch once in a while. Every thing was getting so rosy and I was having the time of my life in my marriage, until one day....
Ifemi went jogging that Saturday morning and left his phone at home. Out of boredom, I just started going through his phone. It had been so long since I checked his phone because it was always so boring. I was not prepared for what I saw. There was an unfamiliar name on his WhatsApp chat. Ifemi did not usually have female friends so seeing the name, Jadesolami was quite a shock. Who will my husband use such an endearment for? I then scrolled the chat way back to earlier messages. I just could not stop the tears. In the two months that Ifemi refused to speak to me, he had found comfort in the arms of another woman. They had shared such intimate chats, the likes of which hubby and I hardly ever wrote to each other even in our best moments. Hubby even wrote in one of his messages that he wished he had met her earlier. The fact that their last messages showed they had ended things was no consolation at all. She wrote that she misses Ifemi and she hopes that the marriage he left her to build was worth it and the only reply my darling hubby had given was that he misses her too and prays it all works out. I just could not fathom it. Ifemi that hardly even spoke to women. Just one simple mistake and he ran to another woman's arms. Nothing had ever prepared me for this. Something kept telling me that if he could forgive me for what I did, I should be able to forgive him too but I just refused to listen. he was supposed to be the faithful and responsible one. I wrote 20 sticky notes saying, "Jadesola misses you" and put it everywhere in the house, right from the front door to the fridge, table tops and everywhere stick-able. I took my car keys and drove straight to Wale's house. I did not even remember to call ahead to know if he was home. The tears wouldn't even stop. I could hardly see. Wale opened on the first knock and was so surprised to see me. He asked what happened and I told him all that happened amidst tears. He cuddled me on the sofa and rocked me to sleep.
By the time I woke up, I was on Wale's bed around 2pm. He must have carried me after I slept. It really was comforting to have such a friend. I looked around for my phone and did not find it so I went to the sitting room to find it. Wale was watching TV and he told me he had made me some rice since he knew I had not eaten. I knew ifemi would be worried and I asked for my phone. Wale said he had switched it off as Ifemi had not stopped calling. I felt rather uncomfortable that Wale just decided to switch off my phone but I also knew he was just looking out for me. By the time I put on my phone, I had 20 missed calls from Ifemi, my battery was already very low. I thought of calling him back but Wale advised me to let him stew for a while that I could bunk with him for as long as I wanted. I knew I could not do that so I decided I would go stay in a hotel later in the evening. Wale did not seem so pleased with the idea but there was nothing he could do so he went to serve me my food. I really could not eat the food as the tears started again. I was just disappointed in Ifemi. Wale came to sit by my side to stop my tears and that was when I felt his hands rubbing by back and then he started rubbing my laps. My first thought was of Ifemi's betrayal. I knew Wale was going to go all the way if I allowed him but was I willing to? Then I also was so angry with my hubby, all these months he made me feel so guilty over lying to him when he was busy being unfaithful? Why not just even the slate? I turned to Wale with all my anger and kissed him hard on the lips....

 HAPPILY EVER AFTER 7
The sudden knock on the door was the jolt that brought me back to my senses. Seriously? I couldn't believe I just kissed another man so deeply. I always believed that Ifemi was my one and only. Wale was so angry at the distraction. The way he shouted, who is that? kind of made me laugh. I tried to gather my wits around me and compose myself and the little dignity I have left. He went to the door and I wondered who he was discussing with but I was not kept in suspense for too long as one of the prettiest ladies I have ever seen walked into the door. One of those women you just meet and you instantly feel inadequate and unsure of yourself. She had so much class and poise and when she said, " hello, I am Tumi, Wale's fiancé and you are? It took me a while to recover and not to let the shock I was feeling register on my face. I am Mrs Ibukun Babalola, your fiancée and I work together and he has never stopped talking about how great you are. I cast a quick glance at Wale and I have never seen so much guilt on a person's face before. I just could not believe he had never mentioned having a girlfriend before not to talk of being engaged. I looked at her and saw the big rock sitting on her finger, she was definitely engaged.
I quickly excused myself and made a silly excuse about coming to sort out an office presentation for Monday, even though she did not ask me what I came for. Wale did not say a word all through. He decided to see me off to the car. I was walking so briskly and just wanted to get away from that embarrassment as fast as possible. Wale started to mention that he was sorry, I landed a very deliberate dirty slap on his face and got into my car and drove off. I parked just down his street and checked my phone. There was already over 30 missed calls from Ifemi and text messages begging not to hurt myself and come back home. I decided to drive straight home and listen to what my beloved hubby had to say. Immediately I drove into our compound and saw my mother in law's car packed in the compound, I was already irritated. So after cheating on me, Ifemi had the guts to go call reinforcement or what?
I walked into the sitting room with a straight face. I greeted mummy and asked if she had been here for long and if she had eaten. I did not even give Ifemi a second glance even though I knew he was sited right there. She said she was fine and had been waiting for me for about an hour since she was the reason I came and she wanted to talk to me. She told me it was a private discussion and I should lead the way to our bedroom. I was wondering what it was mum wanted to discuss with me privately and had made her come all the way. One thing I loved my mother in law for was the fact that she does not get involved. Even when we had the last big issue that threatened our marriage, she only gave me a call. She was just so busy anyway. I did not have to guess for long. Just as we sat in the room, mum launched into a very long story of how she knew some things that had been happening in our marriage and how hubby and I have been making so many mistakes. She said all of our other mistakes has led to this point where we both have to choose if this marriage actually matters to us. She said she knows about Jadesola, who indeed had an affair with my hubby and that now the lady was pregnant with his child. I suddenly went blank. It felt like pregnancy had another meaning. I was totally speechless. Mummy kept on talking like she did not just drop a bombshell. She said she just could not understand how I put my job before my marriage and refused to give my husband a child. I could not shout or scream. I just sat there in silence, the tears running down my face while she waited for me to answer he question of, so what will you do now?

THE HALF TRUTH OF ERRONEOUS GOSPEL

2 Timothy 3:5, "having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away!"

Many Christians, preachers and churches of today are filled with the heresy of half-truth. Everybody likes truth, everyone want to be associated with truth, and so Satan is deceiving many with half-truth in the name of Truth. If we claim to know the truth of the Word of God, do we know half-truth or the whole truth? If we claim to be saying the truth, are we saying the whole truth or half-truth? Half-truth is more dangerous than no truth at all, but Satan is fooling many Christians and ministers of the church today. They have the elements of truth, but denying the power thereof. Read 2 Timothy 3:5

Half-truth is heresy, and everyone living in half-truth is living an erroneous life. That is the gospel many are carrying about today. Heresy means overemphasizing a part of truth and leaving the other part behind. Many and modern church of today are perfect illustration of heresy, they are overemphasizing some part of the scriptures that sooth them and leaving other parts behind. That is half-truth of heresy. Though they claim what they are preaching is from the Bible, they quote the Bible to back what they preach, but they are preaching heresy – uncompleted truth.

They emphasize on “NO CONDEMNATION” but they ignore the message of “NO CONTINUITY IN SIN” and many Christians are falling victim of this permissive heresy.

The complete truth of the Gospel of Jesus Christ was demonstrated in John 8:11, when Jesus met the harlot woman and told her, “Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more” No condemnation of sinner, and no continuity of sin after meeting with Jesus. But the heresy of today will emphasize only on “no condemnation” they claim “God does not condemn us, God is merciful and loving, He does not condemn sinners” Yes that is true, but what about the later part of “go and sin no more” They ignore that, and that makes many to fall into heresy.

It is important for us to examine our lives, as Christians, are we part of the Christians living in or preaching half-truth of heresy in this end time? The modern church of today is perverted by Satan to give people false hope, to give people half-truth, to make Christians overemphasize sweet part of the scripture and omit sacrificing part; to make Christians emphasize on promises of the Bible and ignore purity of the Bible, to make many focus on prosperity of this passing world and forget the preparation for the coming of the new and everlasting world. Are you among the deceived Christians of half-truth of heresy or you are among the deceivers of heresy?

Half-truth of confession without repentance will lead to no genuine salvation. We hear message of salvation of today in many churches, from many preachers as “confess and be saved”. That people should just come, come and come, then, “ If you want to give your life to Jesus Christ and begin to enjoy the blessings, prosperity, deliverance and healing, all you need to do is to confess, say it after me ‘Jesus , I have come to you, I confess you as my Savior’ Now you are saved.” This process of confession without repentance will NEVER bring genuine salvation.

That is the reason you hear funny things happening among them, because they don’t have genuine experience of salvation that is the reason such Christians will continue in sin even after they have been ordained ministers, because the foundation is false and faulty.

How can you ask somebody to confess his sin without first telling him to repent? How can you say somebody is saved when the person does not understand what repentance is all about? Confession of sin without first repentance is half-truth that leads to heresy and hell.

Because the preachers who preach confession of sin without repentance do not understand genuine salvation themselves or they want multitude. Christians whose foundation is based on confessions of sin without genuine repentance will always find themselves committing the sins they have confessed. Repentance will make somebody to count the cost before coming to Christ, that you must not only realize your sin, but you must make up your mind to forsake them, that you have the cross of self-denying to bear after you come to Christ, that Christian life is not about prosperity, prophesying but righteousness, truth and joy in the Holy Spirit.

The half-truth of confession without repentance, of coming to Christ and continuing in sin at the same time is heresy of this end time, which every Christian who wants to make rapture must watch against. Confession of sins alone will not bring the mercy of God, but only those who repent, confess and forsake the sin they confess will experience unlimited mercy. Proverbs 28:13.

The Gracious Truth
John 1:14, “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”

The true Gospel of the Bible is full of grace and truth. The grace of God through Jesus Christ is no condemnation, that is the grace of the Bible – God’s favour, God’s power to live above sin and victorious over Satan. And the truth of the Gospel is to go and sin no more after we meet Jesus Christ.

Are you living your life in the light of the truth of the Gospel or half-truth of heresy? We must repent before it is too late and rededicate ourselves to the whole truth of our Lord Jesus Christ. Genuine salvation of the Gospel is to repent, confess, forsake the confessed sins and follow Jesus in new life. Read 2 Corinthians 5:17

IS YOUR CASE REALLY DIFFERENT?

As I was driving last week, I saw several cars with sticker at the back of their vehicles written “My Case Is Different 2017”. That is a new slogan by a popular church in Nigeria. Actually it is a good statement for children of God. But to face the reality, are their cases really different? Or rather, is your case different?

If you believe your case is different for miracle, success and breakthrough, healing, favour, that where others are meeting failure, you will get success, that where others are rejected, you will be accepted, or while people are failing, you will succeed, because your case is different 2017 as your bishop prophesied and declared; but is your case different for righteousness and holiness, so that where others are compromising godly stands, you will refuse, while others are lying and falsifying information to get jobs, contracts, visas, you will say no, while others are giving or receiving bribes to get their ways, you will say “No, my case is different”, where others are committing premarital sex, you will say “No, others may, but my case is different”, while others are cheating in the exams, you will say no, you can’t; while it becomes a common thing for others to cheat on their spouses in your workplace or communities and they say It’s normal, but you will say “NO, others may do that but my case is different!”

If your case is only different for miracles and breakthrough but not different for righteousness and holiness, or if “My case is different” your church emphasized is all about miracles, breakthrough and earthly success, then this scheme of “My Case Is Different 2017” is from the pit of hell transferred to the pit of toilet of your bishop.

“Useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself.” 1 Timothy 6:5

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 5

After a while I stopped feeling miserable. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was not bottling up so much anymore. Wale had a great listening ear and could listen to my problems all day. Ifemi kept on giving me the worst attitude for another month and after a while I began to ignore him. After over 2 months of wasting so much food, I stopped cooking for him. In fact I stopped doing anything for him. We lived like strangers. It was such a surprise that we still slept in the same bed. We hardly said hello to each other. I preferred to even stay in the office late and gist with Wale. We had lunch and dinner together and I just went home to sleep most days. Wale even advised me that men were not that difficult and if Ifemi sees that his actions were no longer affecting me, he would change and that is exactly what happened.
After about two weeks of ignoring Ifemi, he came home one night and asked me to make dinner for him. I smiled in my mind and went to make him dinner. We ate together that night , he gisted me about his day in the office and we talked into the night. Eventually, the conversation drifted to what happened and Ifemi said he had forgiven me and wanted us to give our marriage another chance. I apologized again and he said now he knows the height of my stubbornness but loves me anyway. I wanted to tell him about my friendship with Wale at that point but it just felt like it would be a betrayal and I did not want to spoil the moment for us.I had so much fun because we gisted like old friends. We didn't even get to the bedroom before Ifemi started touching me. We were like high school kids having their first make out session. Very rushed but fun. We made love right there on the sitting room floor, cuddled and slept off there.
I came in to the office late the next morning after the beautiful night I just had. Wale came to see me immediately to check if I was okay.After all, I had been coming to work very early and closing really late just to avoid Ifemi. I did not plan to give him the full gist of what had happened but Wale said he wouldn't leave my office till he got the full story. I was so excited anyway to hold it in. I gave him the full story of how hubby and I made up and even had make up sex on the sitting room floor. Wale was so excited about it and told me how proud he was of me. He said now that my husband is back now, my work husband can take a bow right? I assured him he was still my bestie whenever Ifemi was naughty. As we walked out of my office together, Wale surprisingly pulled me for a hug and while I was still wondering what the hug was for, he planted a kiss on my lips. He walked out while my mouth was still open. I was really confused. It wasn't that the kiss was not nice, quite the opposite. I just did not understand why Wale will kiss me now that Ifemi and I are getting our marriage back on track. I really did not know what to do but telling Ifemi seemed out of the question now that we were just recovering, I simply could not make him distrust me again. I decided talking to Wale about it seemed like a better option.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 4

My mother in law spoke to me at length that day. Ifemi had never spoken to her about our marriage before so for him to have called her, she knew I had taken it too far. She said I had taken my job as a priority over my marriage and it would take God to win my hubby back. At the end of that conversation, I felt so weak and broken. I was surprised to see Ifemi arrive back at the hospital the next morning before my surgery. He was not smiling nor speaking to me but his presence there gave me hope. Over the next few weeks, they had to perform 3 surgeries to finally repair all the damage. Ifemi was there all through providing all the support I needed but he still was not speaking to me. The doctor told us that the complications were very bad and my chance of having a baby immediately was 50%. They had done all they could and all was left in God’s hands. I could tell from the way Ifemi looked at me that forgiveness was a long shot not when he still could not have the baby he wanted.
By the time I went back to work Ifemi and I were still not in a good place. I had tried several times to seduce him and get him to even touch me but he just turns around and refuses. The last time I woke him in the night to talk about how we can move on, he just said, “you should have had this conversation before taking decisions by yourself” and went back to sleep. Ifemi that used to come home straight from work now comes back around 10pm, at times later. I just could not fathom how one single action could have broken my marriage this way. The other day, I made him breakfast and he said he wasn’t hungry, I tried to cajole him to eat it and he said, “have you poisoned the food? It is definitely not beyond you, If you can lie for 3 years, you can definitely kill me”. I cried for a long time that day, I shouted and fought. I reminded him of how he said for better for worse and how it was just one mistake but he simply looked at me and walked out. We were living together like strangers in the same house. I definitely cannot spend the rest of my life begging him. It has been 2 months already.
One Wednesday afternoon, my colleague in the office, Wale saw me crying and pestered me and what was wrong. I had never spoken to anybody about my marriage and I was dying inside. I opened my mouth and told him everything from the beginning to the end. It was such a relief sharing my pain with somebody else. After I said everything, Wale decided to take me to lunch, we talked for so long during lunch. He was really good at listening. Wale told me what I did was really wrong and that I had to keep working on my marriage. He said my husband too was taking it too far and had to forgive me eventually and I agreed with him. He said he was there for me whenever I needed somebody to talk to as it was not even healthy for me to bottle so much up. He made me smile for which I was grateful. It had been long since I had an interesting time. It is really lonely at home these days. That was the beginning of my friendship with Wale.

DECENT DRESSING

“Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand” - Philippians 4:5
Indecent dressing, which is dressing in a way that provokes sinful passion, is prevalent today. Decent dressing is dressing with godly purpose of covering your nakedness, shielding you from adverse climatic conditions and glorifying God. Therefore, mini-skirts, body hugs, armless dresses and clothes that expose the chest, back, or show inner-wears, sagging, as well as, all that are transparent are unchristian. It is common seeing boys wearing dresses meant for girls, and vice versa. Do not dress indecently or dishonourably. Rather, moderation and decency should be your guiding principle. Do not be of the world or allow anybody to dictate your dress code. You are expected to project acceptable dressing in your campuses and communities. This may earn you mockery or derogatory names from people of the world. But be determined to glorify God always. You are the light and salt of the world. You should dress modestly, neatly and decently and let others see Jesus in you.

A word sure is enough for the wise. Be not deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man does, he shall reap. When you sow to the wind, you definitely reap the whirlwind.
Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in you always and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Be watchful and prayerful and never allow satan to deceive that it doesn't matter how you, please it does if you are truly a follower and believer in Christ Jesus.

PS 119:37.  It's all about priorities set upon vanities. Unfortunately, so many Christians have no idea what heaven probably looked like, then they would have paid the highest price to attain it.. How many preachers today speak about heaven? How many are expecting Christ's return? 1Cor 15:19. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.. Remember It's not only about dressing, but that's the signpost to a hell of stench and moral decay.

There is a lot of hypocrisy even in the church on the subject of indecent dressing. Some congregation have overdone it and make their women adherents wear clothes that make them distasteful to the eyes. At the other extreme are church leaders who have over-relaxed the rules of dressing to accommodate teeming vibrant youth population and the rich powerful influential people in society. What then is indecent dressing? Any dressing you will not go in if Jesus Himself were to interview you constitutes indecency.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 3

I woke up with a smashing headache and confusing thoughts. I looked around and there he was, sitting quietly by my hospital bedside lost in thoughts. I quickly closed my eyes and remembered all I was thinking about before my accident. I was going to sneak out tomorrow morning to go remove the IUD before our doctor's appointment. Wait, I don't even know how long I have been out for. I have to check my phone at least to check the date. I opened my eyes and he saw me. I wish I could freeze that moment. The joy in his eyes, the smile on his face was priceless. How could I have made this man I love so much sad these past years, waiting earnestly for a child I purposely did not give him. How will he ever trust me again. If there is one thing I know about Ifemi, he never tolerates lies. He stood up and gave me a very big kiss on the lips. The doctor came in at that moment and assured us everything is fine and we can go home in another day or two. I had been out for up to 24 hours so they had to just monitor my progress.
Ifemi then asked the doctor what I feared most; Doc, we were scheduled to see a gynecologist today before to have a check up and make sure everything is fine as we have been trying to have a baby. Do you think we can run those tests now since we are already in the hospital? The doctor said they'll come by later to run some scans and left. There is no escape now, no secret way to avoid being caught in this big lie. I am so scared right now. How do I face him? The next day,I was feeling much stronger and the tests had been done. Ifemi came into my room with the doctor, I had to force him to go home to sleep last night. The doctor said he wanted to talk to us both about the results of the tests they ran on me. He started by saying, Mrs Babalola, when exactly did you fix your IUD? Ifemi said, what is IUD? I could not even look at his face while the doctor explained to him what an IUD was and he was arguing that of course I did not do it as we have been trying to have children. I saved him further embarrassment and told the doctor it has been 3 years.
Ifemi looked at me and said, Ibukun what do you mean 3 years? You fixed a contraceptive without informing me? You lied to me and made me put in so much effort looking for a child? You seriously did that? I did not even know what to say. The doctor then said, Mr Babalola, that is the least of your worries, the problem now is that there has been some complications with the IUD. This is a rare complication and we rarely see this occur but unfortunately, we are now faced with this situation. We have found that your IUD has shifted from its original position and has now migrated through the opening of your right Fallopian tube. We would have to perform some surgeries to actually get it removed and the earlier we do that the better so as not to totally affect your chances of getting pregnant. I stared at the doctor in disbelief, I could not even begin to comprehend what he was saying. I have so many friends that have fixed this same IUD and nothing has ever happened. Are you sure there is no mistake here? The doctor then tried to explain about how this was a rare complication and all but I just was not listening anymore. I looked at Ifemi's eyes and I could see the judgment in his eyes. I came off my bed and held him begging but he looked at me and said, it was your decision, fix it anyhow you like and he walked out. I just cannot believe this is happening. The tears won't stop falling. All I wanted was to delay pregnancy for a while, I knew I shouldn't have lied to my husband but how was I to know I would have such a complication. I am so lost right now, I don't even know what to do. Will Ifemi ever come back? Am I even still married? My phone started ringing and I looked at the phone and saw it was my mother in law. Oh God! Ifemi must have called.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 2

Life couldn’t be better for us. I got a promotion about a month after the wedding. Ifemi started talking about having children but I just could not imagine that yet. I just got promoted to the position of assistant manager. Work would definitely become hectic so getting pregnant would just mess up my plans. One night, we came back from work and just finished having dinner and we had this big conversation, I remember it vividly like it was yesterday even though it was 3 years ago. Ifemi said, “IB we can’t just postpone starting a family indefinitely just because of your job. You knew I wanted a family as soon as we got married. You knew this right from the start. You used to feel the same way and I don’t get why you are suddenly having a change of heart”. I was so angry that day; I just did could not get what the whole fuss was about. I told him straight on, “Now I see why they say men are so selfish. You know how much this promotion means to me and suddenly you just can’t give me a break. I told you my work schedule will become hectic because of this new position. All I have asked for is a year to settle in before I start pumping babies. Now we are married, you think whatever you desire is law? Ifemidayo, you are joking. Except it is not my body that will carry the babies, that is when you can be getting impatient. As for me, I am not ready and that is final.” I looked into my husband’s eyes and I have never seen such anger in him before. I expected him to lash out in more anger but he just quietly turned and went to bed. I was proud of myself for making my point clear. I just felt Ifemi was being selfish just because our salaries would be the same with this new promotion I got.
The next day, I went to the hospital during lunch hour and fixed IUD as a protection. After all, the lack of contraceptive against pregnancy is the beginning of foolishness. I could not trust Ifemidayo to not get me pregnant intentionally and he would never support any permanent contraceptive so I just did it anyway. I’ll take it off codedly when I am ready. After that day, I stopped arguing with him about having babies. In fact, the next time he raised the issue, I simply said okay. He would never know I have sorted myself. Ifemidayo began to take special care of me after then. He would buy me fruits, make sure I took enough vegetables, read everything and anything about women trying to have babies. He made me start taking folic acid at some point in the hope that it would prepare my body for pregnancy. The sex was very regular and it was fun for me. He even started making me calculate my ovulation period. After one year of making so much effort, Ifemi started getting worried. I thought about telling him about the contraceptive I have fixed but work was more hectic than I thought and I could not jeopardize that yet especially now that we were building our own house. How would I support him if I lost my job? I thanked God for the wonderful in laws I have because Ifemi’s mum is truly one of those mothers that does not intrude. There was a time I even felt bad because the pastor recommended a 7days fast in church for people that want children. Ifemi made sure we did the fast. I joined him in doing that but I used the opportunity to pray for other things.
My Manager suddenly knocks on my door and that cuts into my thoughts. Ibukun, “have you done the 3D designs for Glamour concepts Ltd yet? Yes sir, I am bringing it to the meeting now. I looked at my watch. It is time for Friday meeting. I was totally lost in thought sha. I didn’t even know I had been sitting on my desk for 2 hours already. I got busy with work all through that day and I didn’t get back to my thoughts until my drive home at 7pm that night. Sometime last year, I finally decided I wanted to have children. It was not fun seeing Ifemi suffer and seeing all my friends cute babies wasn’t helping matter either. I decided to take out the IUD but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet. This morning, Ifemi called me that he has booked an appointment for us tomorrow to see a gynaecologist and do some check up to make sure all is well. I have tried for so long to avoid this but today, he was very adamant. I am thinking maybe I should just tell him about the contraceptive or try and remove it early in the morning before we go to the appointment t 2pm. I do not even want to imagine Ifemi’s reaction and actions if I tell him. I will quietly remove it in the morning. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t see the truck parked in the middle of the road, all I heard was the crash and I just blacked out. My last thoughts were of my beloved.

NOW, IT'S YOUR TURN!

God planned the salvation of the world through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, no other way. If Jesus did not pass through Calvary to the cross, then there wouldn’t have been salvation for the world. In like manner God planned the promotion and greatness of Joseph by passing through problems and prison, if he didn’t pass through prison, he would not have come to palace; if he had compromised in sin at the Potiphar’s house, if he had been discouraged and gave up along the way, that would have brought God’s purpose for his life to an end.

And now is your turn. You are passing through several problems in your personal life, marriage, ministry, business, academy, finance; those problems are not God’s purpose for your life, they are just a passage by which you pass into God’s purpose in your life. God’s part is to be faithful to His promise, He did not need to show you the problem from the beginning, He didn’t show Joseph either, because He is not concern about the temporal problem, His concern is to fulfill His purpose which He has promised you. Your own part is to patiently wait and stay faithful to Him. Now, the question is, will you complain and compromise into sin for quick relief? Or will you continue and let God’s purpose come to pass in your life?

REVELATION

I was taking a nap when I heard the knock. I jumped to my feet. It was Hazel, my house keeper.

"The Presido's P.A is here."I looked at him puzzled.

What would my boss' P.A be looking for in my house at this time time of the day.
I dressed up and walked down the hallway that led to the entrance. He smiled as I approached him. Without saying a word, he handed a letter to me. I didn't have to ask him who sent him. Presido's seal was on the letter.
When I returned to my room to read the content of the letter, I was astounded. Presido had appointed me as an administrator over the Governors of the Province.
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands on my chin. 'Lord, am I ready for this?'
Somewhere in the depth of my heart, I heard the voice I have become familiar with.
'For this purpose have I prepared you.'
I sighed. The responsibility before me was enormous. I was going to be responsible for the affairs of the Governors and they would be answerable to me.
I am going to do my best, I said, determined.
I did a survey of all the Governors in my territory, studied books on administration, spotted areas that needed improvements and continually sought wisdom from God.
Everything was going smoothly until I noticed the scowl on the faces of the other two administrators every time I came out of Presido's chambers. I noticed the agitation, I could feel the hatred whenever I sat with Presido to discuss issues of national interest. I couldn't explain how every time I conversed with my boss, the head of the Province, my mouth spilled solutions that always worked. Presido practically relied on my expertise.
One sunny day, I had just finished my afternoon prayers when the shocking news reached me.
Presido has banned prayers for thirty days. Whoever was caught praying would be thrown into the lion's den.
For some minutes, I couldn't get my mind off Presido's orders. I saw death laugh me to scorn. I loved my job. I loved Presido, but I couldn't imagine anything coming between my communion with my Creator.
How do I stop talking and communing with Him? The material possession I had acquired by reason of my position did not bother me. It was the fact that I would be deprived of speaking to the one whose love consumed my being.
As I returned home that evening, I made up my mind.
Nothing will stop me.
One evening, as I knelt down to pray, certain men stormed into my house and grabbed me. I was led to the den. My heart thumped as we entered the lion's territory.
First gate. Second gate. I could hear the roars of the lion. I mumbled prayers as we walked towards the well secured den. Then I saw them. Hungry looking creatures ready to tear me apart. I sighed deeply as the keepers threw me into the den.
I closed my eyes and waited. Nothing. I opened them to find that I was surrounded by creatures who sat like they were waiting to hear an interesting moonlight story. After a long while, I slept off.
'Daniel!'That was my boss, the head of the Persian Province.
'Sir!' Presido's convoy led me to home that evening and as I returned to my praying spot, I couldn't utter a word. My silence spoke a thousand words.
'I love you Lord.' I muttered, finally.

****
What shall separate us from the love of Christ?
For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth nor any other creature shall separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38,39)

THE MARRIED COUPLES.

1. There is nothing that threatens the security of a wife than the thought of another woman competing for the attention and affection of her husband. Nothing is more painful. Nothing is more disrespecting. Nothing is more insulting. Nothing is more belittling and degrading.

2. Marriage flourishes when the couple work together as a team; when both husband and wife decide that winning together is more important than keeping score.
Good marriages don't just happen. They are a product of hard work.

3. Your children are watching you and forming lasting opinions on love, commitment, and marriage based on what they see in you. Give them hope. Make them look forward to marriage.

4. Husbands: The reason why other women look attractive is because someone is taking good care of them. Grass is always green where it is watered. Instead of drooling over the green grass on the other side of the fence, work on yours and water it regularly.
Any man can admire a beautiful woman, but it takes a true gentleman to make a woman admirable and beautiful.

5. When a husband puts his wife first above everyone and everything except God, it gives his wife the sense of security and honor that every wife hungers for.

6. A successful marriage doesn't require a big house, a perfect spouse, a million dollars or an expensive car. You can have all the above and still have a miserable marriage.
A successful marriage requires honesty, undying commitment and selfless love and Jesus at the center of it all.

7. Pray for your spouse every day; in the morning, in the afternoon and at evening. Don’t wait until there is a problem. Don’t wait until there is an affair. Don’t wait until something bad happens. Don’t wait until your spouse is tempted. Shield your spouse with prayer and cover your marriage with the fence of prayer.

8. The people you surround yourself with have a lot of influence on your marriage. Friends can build or break your marriage; choose them wisely.

9. One spouse cannot build a marriage alone when the other spouse is committed to destroying it. Marriage works when both husband and wife work together as a team to build their marriage.

10. Don't take your spouse for granted. Don't take advantage of your spouse's meekness and goodness. Don't mistake your spouse's loyalty for desperation. Don't misuse or abuse your spouse's trust. You may end up regretting after losing someone that meant so much to you.

11. Beware of marital advice from single people. Regardless of how sincere their advice may be, most of it is theoretical and not derived from real life experiences. If you really need Godly advice, seek it from God-fearing, impartial and prayerful mature couples whose resolve has been tested by time and shaped by trials.

12. Dear wife, Don't underestimate the power of the tongue on your marriage. The tongue has the power to crush your marriage or build it up. Don't let the Devil use your tongue to kill your spouse's image, self-confidence and aspirations. Let God use your tongue to build up your marriage and bless and praise your spouse.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER(1)

My name is Ibukun, you can just call me Ib as that is what I am called by everybody anyway. I am sited at my desk in this office this Friday morning reflecting on my life these past 5 years. The mistakes I made, the decisions I took and how this job that meant the whole world to me has suddenly become a burden. I remember the day I met my husband here in the city of Abuja, I came for my job interview and he had come to have a meeting with one of the marketers. He could see how nervous I was sitting at the reception waiting to be called that he offered to wait and take me for a drink after. I gave him the meanest look I could muster and told him to mind his business. See me preparing my mind for the biggest job interview of my life and there he was chasing woman. I composed myself and went in for the interview with my laptop almost falling from my hands. I could already tell they loved all the samples of my designs I showed them from the looks on their faces. After all, I am fully invested in my profession as an architect and this kind of opportunity trust me, is not common. I showed them some beautiful 3D designs and drafted floor plans. I came out all smiling and confident. I went to the road to hail and taxi and Lo and behold, he had been waiting for me.
That was how Ifemidayo began to capture my heart. We had a very interesting relationship. he was everything I had been looking for in a man. he was gentle, hardly ever got angry for more than an hour and never even pressured me about sex. He was such a gentleman. To seal it up my family loved him. It even seemed like my parents and my siblings loved him more than me. Ifemi as I call him was the ideal man for me. Two years later, we got married in Lagos where my family home is and then we travelled to Dubai for our honeymoon. I had been working for 2 years now and my job was very well paying so we could afford a reasonable wedding and a nice honeymoon. Ifemi had a good job too with a consulting firm. It was one of these coded firms in Abuja that had plenty money to pay their staff. We were comfortable, we were in love and we loved God. It seemed like nothing could go wrong. We rented a nice two bedroom flat in Gwarinpa about a month before the wedding and we both had our cars already so all was set for a great life ahead. We came back to Abuja after the honeymoon to live happily ever after... or so we thought..

Judgement is similar to gossip

Judgement is similar to gossip – We assume negative things about people based on a single action. The Bible says: “There is only one lawgiver and he is the only judge and has the power to save or to destroy. Who are you to give a verdict on your neighbour?” It is easy to assume the parent of the screaming child doesn’t know how to raise a well-behaved, respectful child but what we don’t see is the mental illness in the child or the hours of behavioral training that goes on behind the scenes. Just as Pope Francis famously said, “Who am I to judge?” Are we so perfect we can judge others? Judging one another does nothing but tear relationships apart and gives the person judging a sense of superiority, much like pride, selfishness, hatred, lust, and gossip. Be better people, not simply because you want to be well-liked or because you feel a sense of duty, but because the Lord has called us to love. In fact, 1 Corinthians outlines exactly what love is. If you want to be more like Christ, learn to love.

LISTEN!

YOU NEED TO KNOW THESE REALITIES
Genuine prosperity does not come by praying or preaching more about prosperity, you can check those prosperity pastors and their members, who focus more on prosperity, they tell lies, cheat, bribe to get contracts, they change their age and personal information to get job, they bribe and commit sexual immorality to get job, promotion, and some even join occult group to get wealth in their businesses, careers or profession. And these people still claim God’s prosperity and share testimonies.

Genuine deliverance and victory over evil forces does not come by continuous or daily prayer against enemies or by prayer of “fall down and die” or by focusing on such prayer, you can check those who are in such ministry or system, they are never delivered, they are never free from enemies, the more they pray such prayer, the more they are afraid of evil forces, some of their men cannot even go to barber shop for haircut, they are afraid lest the barber use their hair for rituals; they can pray and fast for 100 days, but they are never free, they never stop praying to be free, they never believed they are free, and they never re-direct their prayer and preaching on heavenly things.

Don’t be among the ignorant in this end time, don’t be among the foolish virgins; be wise and be warned.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33.

KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.

A mirror reflects a man face but what he is truly like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.  Not every one should have the right to speak into your life, Friends that don't want you to climb will help you to crawl.

Be careful where you stop and ask for directions in the journey of life.
Your friends will stretch your visions or choke your dreams. Those that don't increase you will eventually decrease you. With some friends you will SPEND an evening, with others you will INVEST it.

If you run wit owls you will learn how to howl, but, if you run with eagles you will learn how to soar to great heights.
Never make some one a priority when you are only an option to them.

In prosperity our friends know us, in adversity we know our friends.

ALL VANITY

Words to live by, please read to the end. The last wishes of Alexander the Great:
On his death bed, Alexander summoned his generals and told them his three ultimate wishes:
1. The best doctors should carry his coffin;
2. The wealth he has accumulated (money, gold, precious stones…) should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery, and
3. His hands should be let loose, hanging outside the coffin for all to see!!
One of his general who was surprised by these unusual requests asked Alexander to explain.
Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:
1. I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that, in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no power to heal;
2. I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, stays on earth…
3. I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people understand that we come to this world empty handed and we leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure of all is exhausted, and that is TIME
4. We do not take to our grave any material wealth, although our good deeds can be our travelers’ checks. TIME is our most precious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more wealth, but we cannot produce more time.

TIME.

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day.

What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!!!! Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow". You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed in SSCE Exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper. .
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics

Treasure every moment that you have!
And treasure it more because you spent it doing things you love and shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember that time waits for no one.

A LOT OF INSPIRATION.

Driving into a fuel station for a refill. The car has a fuel tank capacity of about 60 liters. While the pump attendant filled the tank, a motorcyclist also rode in to
the second pump. Before I knew it, the motorcycle was full and the rider rode off while the car was still at the pump.

I got there before the motorcyclist but he left before me. It suddenly occurred to me that it would be absolutely silly of me to think "I got here before him.

How come he is leaving before me?"
Why? Our capacity is not the same.

The truth is there are times in life when we are stuck at the pump of divinity. Those who came in behind us have gone ahead of us; those who learnt from you seem to have outran you; those who graduated years after you are now the ones calling the shot and it seems as though you are stuck.

Could it just be that your capacity is bigger than theirs? Could it be that your own assignment needs longer preparation?

Could it be that your character is
being formed for the task ahead?
You do not know what you need.

Only the One who designed the journey knows what is important.

Why don't you hold on?

People will often say my mates are doing this.....
My mates have done that .....
My mates have this...
My mates are now....

But I'm still here doing, having, nothing
It is important to know that you spent nine months of formation in your mother's womb alone and you were given birth to alone even if you're a twin.

Therefore never classify anyone as your mate.

God's dealings with/in your life is never an estimation of what is happening in the life of your friend or colleagues.

God's dealing in your life is VERY PERSONAL and unique and should never be an estimation of physical and tangible things.

Take your gaze off other people's path and concentrate on the race, speedometers are different.

You Will earn your own medal!

God bless you

MAN VS WOMAN

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men – but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes – there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman – before marriage & after marriage.

You can’t blame someone for walking away if you didn’t do anything to make them stay.

You can’t blame someone for walking away if you didn’t do anything to make them

stay. 

This quote really hits home for me when I think about my ex. I’m going to try elaborating it as well as I can based on my own personal experience, a very recent experience at that. 

My last relationship was nothing less of a roller-coaster ride for me. 

She was someone I was deeply involved with and I gave literally everything I had to this girl. All of my trust, all of my love, all of my time and attention, you name it. It was very passionate for me, most of my friends used to tell me I’m going overboard, but I didn’t care as long as she had a smile on her face. A year later, I found out that she cheated on me. 

That was the first day of the rest of my life. I changed. I changed into someone I wasn’t, someone I never thought I’d be. My entire world shattered around my eyes and I couldn’t think straight, it took its toll on me and I took a good while to recover and come back to normal. 

So, coming back to the quote, it talks about people who blame someone for walking away even after they honestly didn’t do much to make them stay. 

When I found out about the cheating, I broke up with her. She apologized and everything but I still walked away. Later on, I found out that she blamed me for the breakup, she had told everyone that I just suddenly stopped loving her and I, myself, let go of the relationship. 

This is what this quote talks about. A person will only love you as long as you appreciate their love and efforts, the moment you stop appreciating them for everything they’re doing for you, they’ll walk away and you most definitely can NOT blame them for walking away. 

Either be the kind of partner who appreciates even the smallest of gestures, or be a complainer who will never be satisfied no matter what your better half does for you. And trust me, if you’re the latter, you’ll never find true happiness in life or love.

BE INSPIRED.

Michael Jordan was born in 1963, in the slums of Brooklyn, New York.

He had four  siblings and his father's earnings were not sufficient to provide for the whole family.

He grew up in a poor neighbourhood. Exposed to mindless violence and heavy discrimination in the slums, he saw for himself only a hopeless future.

His father saw in Michael, a lost soul and decided to do something.

He gave Michael, who was 13 years old, a piece of used clothing and asked: "What do you think the value of this outfit would be?"

Jordan replied,"Maybe one dollar."

His father asked, "Can you sell it for two dollars? If you can sell it, it would mean that you are a big help to your family."

Jordan nodded his head, "I'll try, but no guarantee that I'll be successful."

Jordan carefully washed the cloth clean. Because they didn't have an iron, to smoothen the cloth, he levelled it with a clothes brush on a flat board, then kept it in the sun to dry.

The next day, he brought the clothes to a crowded underground station. After offering it for more than six hours. Jordan finally managed to sell it for $2. He took the two dollar bill and ran home.

After that, everyday he looked for used clothing, washed and ironed it, and sold it in the crowd.

More than ten days later, his father again gave him a piece of used clothing, "Can you think of a way you can sell this for 20 bucks?"

Aghast, Jordan said, "How is it possible? This outfit can only fetch two dollars at the most."

His father replied, "Why don't you try it first? There might be a way."

After breaking his head for a few hours, finally, Jordan got an idea.

He asked for cousin's helpto paint a picture of Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse on the garment. Then he tried to sell it in the school where the children of the rich study.

Soon a housekeeper, who was there to pick his master, bought that outfit for his master. The master was a little boy of only 10 years. He loved it so much and he gave a five dollar tip.

25 dollars was a huge amount for Jordan, the equivalent of a month's salary of his father.

When he got home, his father gave him yet another piece of used clothing, "Are you able to resell it at a price of 200 dollars?" Jordan's eyes lit up.

This time, Jordan accepted the clothes without the slightest doubt. Two months later a popular movie actress from the movie "Charlie's Angels", Farah Fawcett came to New York for her Movie promos.

After the press conference, Jordan made his way through the security forces to reach the side of Farah Fawcett and requested her autograph on the piece of clothing.

When Fawcett saw this innocent child asking for her autograph, she gladly signed it.

Jordan was shouting very excitedly, "This is a jersey signed by Miss Farah Fawcett, the selling price is 200 dollars!"

He auctioned off the clothes, to a businessman for a price of 1,200 dollars!

Upon returning home, his father broke into TEARS and said, "I am amazed that you did it My child! You're really great! "

That night, Jordan slept alongside his father.

His father said, "Son, in your experience selling these three pieces of clothing, what did you learn about success?"

Jordan replied, "Where there's a will, there's a way."

His father nodded his head, then shook his head, "What you say is not entirely wrong! But that was not my intention. I just wanted to show you that a piece of used clothing which is worth only a dollar can also be increased in value, Then how about us - living & thinking humans? We may be darker and poorer, but what if we CAN increase our VALUE."

This thought enlightened young Jordan. Even a piece of used clothing could be made dignified, then why not me? There is absolutely no reason to underestimate myself.

From then on, Michael Jordan felt that his future would be beautiful and full of hope.

He went on to become the greatest basketball player of all times.

How can I increase my own value?

I am finding it a very interesting thought. I am sure you, too, will.
Happy Sunday

EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS

For many people, the Catholic doctrine of hell serves as an obstacle to belief in God. They think an all-good God wouldn’t allow someone he loves to experience everlasting torment. And they think the permanent nature of hell’s punishment is incompatible with a just God. A recent caller on Catholic Answers Live asked, “Given that we have a finite life with limited information to make our decisions, how is an infinite punishment not infinitely disproportionate? Shouldn’t the punishment be proportional to the transgression?" St. Thomas Aquinas put this question in the form of an objection: It would seem that an eternal punishment is not inflicted on sinners by divine justice. For the punishment should not exceed the fault: “According to the measure of the sin shall the measure also of the stripes be" (Deut. 25:2). Now fault is temporal. Therefore the punishment should not be eternal (Summa Theologiae, suppl. III:99:1). So, does the eternity of hell make God an unjust, vengeful tyrant? Here are some reasons why the answer is no. A different law of gravity First, the objection falsely assumes that a punishment has to be equal or proportionate to a fault as to the amount of duration. If the duration of punishment had to correspond to the duration of an offense, then it would be unjust to give a murderer a prison sentence any longer than the time it took for the murderer to kill his victim. But that’s absurd. As the Jesuit philosopher Bernard Boedder writes, “[T]ime cannot be the standard by which punishment is to be determined" (Natural Theology, 340; Kindle edition). The measure of the punishment due for sin is the gravity of the fault. According to Aquinas, “[T]he measure of punishment corresponds to the measure of fault, as regards the degree of severity, so that the more grievously a person sins the more grievously is he punished" (ST, suppl.III:99:1; emphasis added). In other words, it is the internal wickedness of an offense that is the measure of expiation for it.
The highest high of moral disorders The free and willful rejection of God—what the Catholic Church calls a “mortal sin" (Catechism of the Catholic Church 1855) or, as the apostle John calls it, “a sin unto death" (1 John 5:16; Douay Rheims)—reasonably calls for permanent exclusion from the presence of God. As Aquinas points out in the supplement to the third part of theSumma Theologiae, the gravity of an offense is determined according to the dignity of the person sinned against. For example, punishment for striking the president of the United States is going to be greater than punishment for striking a fellow citizen in bar brawl. Since God is ipsum esse subsistens (subsistent being itself), he is infinite in dignity and majesty. Therefore, his right to obedience from his reasonable creatures is absolute and infinite. There is no right that can be stricter and every other right is based on it. A willful violation of this right, which is what a mortal sin is, is the most severe offense a human being can commit. Boedder explains it this way: “A willful violation . . . of this right implies a malice which opposes itself to the foundation of all orders" (NT, 340). Since the rejection of God’s absolute right to our obedience, worship, and love is a moral disorder of the highest degree, it deserves a penalty of the highest degree. Everlasting punishment seems to fit the bill. Alternatives that don’t register on the justice monitor A second reason why the unending punishment of hell is just is because the alternatives are unreasonable. If permanent punishment is not the answer, then there can only be two other options: temporary punishment or annihilation—the act by which God stops willing someone into existence. But neither one of these alternatives coheres with the nature of mortal sin in relation to God. Consider temporary punishment. Perhaps the soul receives an intense dose of punishment and then enters heaven upon being relieved of it. This would be an injustice. For example, let’s say I find out that my twelve-year-old son ditched school and went to a party with his older teen friends and got drunk and smoked a few jays (this is merely hypothetical, mind you). I punish him by saying, “Son, you’ve been a bad boy, and as a result you’re going to stay in your room for ten minutes. But when that time is up, pack your bags because we’ve got tickets to spend the weekend at Legoland." (He loves Legos). How does this register on your justice monitor? My guess is that it doesn’t rate very high—especially if my son refuses to apologize for his misconduct. The duration of the punishment is much too small relative to the reward he is given. Similarly, a temporary stint in hell—no matter how long the term—is much too small of a punishment relative to the everlasting happiness of heaven. It would be unjust for God to give heaven as a reward to a person that committed the most grievous offense of all, the permanent rejection of God’s absolute right to obedience, worship, and love. Annihilation is also an unreasonable alternative. How could a person experience the punishment justice demands for permanently rejecting God if he were annihilated? The gravity of violating God’s absolute right would be reduced to nothingness if there were no punishment for it. Justice would not be served. Furthermore, it would violate God’s wisdom to annihilate the soul. Why would he create a soul with an immortal nature only to thwart it? Moreover, Aquinas argues that because God’s power is manifest in preserving things in existence, to take a soul out of being would hinder that manifestation (Summa, I:104:4). The reasonableness of a permanent commitment A third reason the unending nature of hell is justified is that it’s befitting to reason that an individual make a permanent choice for or against God at death. And if a permanent choice against God, then a permanent punishment. We know from divine Revelation that there is no repentance after death: “[I]t is appointed for men to die once, and after that comes judgment" (Heb. 9:27). The time of preparation for man’s last end comes to an end at the moment of death. This is reasonable within the logic of love. Love demands a permanent commitment to the beloved. For example, would it be true love if a man says to his bride on the altar, “I’ll commit to you for only ten years, and then after that, we can go our separate ways?" Of course not! We value loving relationships that involve a choice to commit one way or the other—a commitment unto death. Similarly, the loving relationship that God has created us for demands that we at some point in time make a definitive choice to love him or not. According to divine Revelation, that moment is death (Heb. 9:27). The permanency of our choice at death can also be argued for in light of the nature of choice by an incorporeal being. Such a topic, however, goes beyond the scope of this article. For a great explanation of Aquinas’s thought on this topic, see Edward Feser’s online article “How to Go to Hell." If a person makes his choice against God at the moment of death, then his choice to not love God remains forever—the perversity of the will is forever determined. Therefore, the punishment for such perversion is eternal as well. This is why the Catechism defines hell as the “definitive self-exclusion from God" (1033; emphasis added). This is also the reason why the Church teaches that if a person dies in a state of mortal sin, hell will be his lot (see CCC 1033, 1035). The sinner who rejects God at the moment of death gets his just deserts—namely, separation from God. This unending separation is the “eternal punishment" (CCC 1472), because the individual will forever lack the fulfillment and satisfaction that only God can give a creature of a rational and spiritual nature (CCC 1035). The flip side is reasonable Finally, we can see the reasonableness of the unending punishment of hell by seeing the reasonableness of the reverse side of the issue—the unending reward of heaven. Aquinas writes: As reward is to merit, so is punishment to guilt. Now, according to divine justice, an eternal reward is due to temporal merit: “Every one who seeth the Son and believeth in Him hath [Vulg.: ‘that everyone . . . may have’] life everlasting.” Therefore according to divine justice, an everlasting punishment is due to temporal guilt (Summa, Suppl. III:99:1). Just as it is not contrary to God’s justice to give a permanent and everlasting reward for a temporal act of charity, so to it’s not contrary to God’s justice to give a permanent and everlasting punishment for a temporal act of evil. Conclusion Hell is not a pleasant place to think about. It’s something that we’re all repulsed by—especially those who use it to object to God’s justice. But there is no reason why such repulsion should lead us to reject God. It should lead us to reject hell; not to deny its existence but to do what we can to stay out of it. By Karlo Broussard