Everyone loves a good PUN, though not everyone GETS it

1. I don't trust stairs because they are always UP to something.
2. Did u guys just hear the joke about the wall, its hilarious, i'm still trying to get OVER it.
3. Its not that the man did not know how to juggle,he just didn't have the BALLS to do it.
4. I tried to catch the fog,i MIST.
5. I know a guy who is addicted to break fluid,he says he can STOP anytime.
6. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity, i cant put it DOWN
7. Have you ever tried to eat a clock, its TIME consuming.
8. I can't believe i got fired from the calendar factory, All i did was take a DAY OFF.
9. Police was called to a day care where a three year old was resisting A REST.
10. Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off, he's all RIGHT now.
11. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, i could do it with my EYES CLOSED.
12. How do you get holy water,boil the HELL out of it.
13. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it DAWNED on me.
14. When i get naked in the bathroom,the shower usually gets TURNED ON.
15. Duracell engineer arrested ,he was charged with BATTERIES.
16. A dyslexic man walks into BRA.
17. What does a clock do when its hungry,it goes back FOUR seconds.
18. How does Moses make his tea, HEBREWS it.
19. A girl said i look like a vegetarian,i've never met HERBIVORE.
20. PMS jokes aren't funny PERIOD.
21. Class visit to the champagne factory, i hope there is no POP quiz.
22. When chemists die, they BARIUM.
23. Broken pencils are POINTLESS.
24. Why are the frogs so happy,they eat whatever BUGS them.
25. Maths are always a SINE of big problem,stop before i SUBTRACT you from my life that will only ADD to my sadness. lol
26. A bike cant stand alone because its two TIRED.